Ingolfson- nope, never been in that part of the world.  Hope to someday- I’ll let you know.  I have a couple of friends in Christchurch, and in Hobart, and Auckland is probably on the same streetcar line.

Sure, you’re welcome! No streetcars though. Bastards tore them down and so far, they aren’t listening to me to bring them back.

Thanks for the invite, ingolfson.  You’re welcome to visit us anytime in Vienna, which used to be in Germany.

You’re welcome to visit us anytime in Vienna, which used to be in Germany.

What a strange thing to say, Zilch. It wasn’t exactly the most glorious time when it was…

Hello…
Hello…

Can you hear me in there? It’s me, God

Look, I’ve made a bit of a screw up.  I dropped my big jar of universes, and this one, the one you’re in, rolled under the work bench and I can’t get at it.  Next thing I knew there was this ‘bang’ (probably sounded quite big from where you were) and the auto-play feature started. 

Now, try not to do anything stupid, like fighting over me.  I’ll have you out as soon as I can, but I’m having a bit of trouble.  I sent earlier messages, but frankly the ones who are the most receptive tend to be a bit looney- forever wandering into the desert and having trances.  I think the messages are getting garbled.  If the words don’t match the observed facts then the check digit has probably got lost again.  Just hold tight until my lad gets back.  He reckons he didn’t do too bad last time he tried.

Oh- and don’t eat all the dodo’s.  I know they tend to be tasty and easy to catch, but you will need them to help clean up if you start using fossil fuels.

Bye

There- I think I got through that time, but I think I got some sort of machine.  Hold on I haven’t hung up Click

Just hold tight until my lad gets back.

Good to see that you are there, God. It’s me, Sadie (but you already knew that, right? I mean, you’re God and everything).

Here’s a personal question for you, and I hope you don’t take it the wrong way. Are you really, really good-looking? Do you have phenomenal sex appeal? I would think that you’d have to, seeing how many of your followers have worshipped and died in your name throughout the ages.

It’s good to see that you’re British. Many of the best rock bands in history hailed from your country.

Do you have phenomenal sex appeal?

In the evolutionary sense, Sadie (and what’s more important than differential reproductive fitness?), God has what it takes- He was able to knock up Mary in feathered form.  Maybe that’s why Christianity is for the birds…

God has what it takes- He was able to knock up Mary in feathered form.

Thanx Zilch: You make me grin a lot. 
Shit, I’m glad I did a sorta proof read, coz I’d written: you maker me griM alot.
It wasn’t really a ‘wot’s that fella’s name again’ slip? Foxpaw.