Newsgasm: Anna Nicole Smith is dead and no one knows why…

Posted by Les on Friday, February 09, 2007 at 12:04 PM. Read 1363 times. Tags: , ,
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...but they’re working really hard to speculate the living shit out of the possibilities. It seems every little crumb of info the news media can get their hands on is being slapped onto a taffy puller and stretched as far as they can manage. For example: When paramedics arrived her heart wasn’t beating (a common occurrence when someone dies) so heres a list of 50 or so possible heart related problems she might have had but didn’t know about including some so obscure her chances of dieing from it are a million to one against.

They had one solid fact: Anna Nicole Smith is dead. Beyond that it was all just idle speculation by the news media. Was she murdered? Did she O.D.? Was she crushed under the weight of her own tits? What happens to her son? Is she a modern-day Marilyn Monroe? Was John F. Kennedy’s corpse spotted anywhere near her motel room?

I don’t know if the media is just so sick of reporting the awful news that’s coming out of Iraq on a daily basis or they think the public really gives that much of a shit about what was easily one of the most successful white trash women around, but it’s another one of those events that makes me ignore the news for a few days until it blows over. Of course Nancy Grace will be all over this for months to come I’m sure, what with being a fellow white trasher and all.

That’s why I need to start my own news network: LNN - Les News Network. Our coverage of Anna’s death would’ve been like this.

HEADLINE: ANNA NICOLE SMITH IS DEAD.

Anna Nicole Smith, famous Playboy playmate and gold digger, is dead at the age of 39. She was found in her hotel room unconscious and not breathing. No one has a fucking clue as to how she died yet and we’re not about to sit around and dream up possibilities when there’s other news to report. When we know more, you’ll know more.

And that would be it.

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Tamara United States Posted on 02/09/2007 at 03:41 PM

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I definitely agree that Nancy Grace is white trash, but I would go a step further and say that her loyal audience is white trash as well.  That’s obvious by the type of “journalism” she does.

I have a feeling people will attribute Anna Nicole’s death to grief, no matter what actually killed her; and as a result, she’ll be more famous in death than she ever was in life.

Sadie Jane United States Posted on 02/09/2007 at 03:56 PM

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I’m not a pop culture aficionado of the 2000s (or the ‘90s), and I never cared a lick about Anna Nicole or those of her ilk. Nonetheless, it would not be an exaggeration to say that I was shocked when I read about her death yesterday. A tragic end to what I’ve since come to view as a tragic life.

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Brock United States Posted on 02/09/2007 at 04:35 PM

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Did you hear the latest? They’re saying that Zsa Zsa
Gabor’s husband may be the baby daddy. I bet Zsa Zsa
slapped her dead.

Oh and Les, Annie Nic’s baby is a daughter, not a son. She did have a son but I bet Zsa Zsa slapped him dead too.

Still, humorous entry. Now let’s have a moment of silence to pay our (finally) respects for Ms Smith.

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Last_Hussar United Kingdom Posted on 02/09/2007 at 05:17 PM

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Anna Nicole Smith is dead and no one knows why…

I think you meant cares why Les.
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Bahamat United Kingdom Posted on 02/09/2007 at 06:06 PM

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She’s DiEthyl Azodicarboxylate?!!

DEAD
DEAD is actually the acronym for diethyl azodicarboxylate, which is an important reagent in the well-known Mitsunobu reaction which performs a stereospecific conversion of an alcohol to a primary amine. It’s quite a good acronym, as DEAD is an orange liquid that’s explosive, shock sensitive, light sensitive, toxic, a possible carcinogen or mutagen, and an eye, skin and respiratory irritant! A version of diethyl azodicarboxylate mixed with acid and triphenylphosphine has also been termed DEADCAT.

from:
http://www.chm.bris.ac.uk/sillymolecules/sillymols.htm

Part of me wonders the point of looking into cause of death, it won’t bring someone back, and if a killer’s on the loose the fear created will force society to become more OK with their own-creeping up-death, as well as bereavement. Society would have to work harder on prevention and structure itself accordingly, if it was no longer able to screen out the bits of reality it doesn’t like to see

Killing’s considered a bad thing because it hurts people connected to them, but if it was more regular ocurrance people will not develop as strong emotional connections for fear of losing them, and that may be better for them for when they are bereaved, and to increase freedom beyond what the sentimental connections limit you to. Killing a 100% isolated hermit with no connections to anyone would cause no bereavement, and how could the hermit care if they’re no longer concious? If killing doesn’t hurt anyone or cause other inconvenience there is nothing stricly wrong about it, technically there is nothing strictly wrong about hurting people either, since concience is a self reflecting thing, it’s only whether you are at peace with the consequences for your own actions that decide.
If there was a heaven, you could call it an act of kindness to send nice people there, though that depends on you making a judgement

Also it’s up to the killer to change in themselves, and if they are to be released eventually, they will be more in touch with reality if in the real world than the isolated and violent community of jail where all they see is negativity. Jail does provide time to think though, which some of these people need, as well as forced routine as a bitter pill of food for thought in a changed situation.

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KPatrickGlover United States Posted on 02/09/2007 at 06:18 PM

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I think it’s the writer in me, but I’m utterly fascinated when a celebrity dies, not so much with the death, but the rapid build up of theory and speculation around it. The whole process reminds me of a James Ellroy novel. I’m always disappointed when it turns out to be something stupid like an accidental overdose.

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DavidM United States Posted on 02/09/2007 at 06:22 PM

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I just wish people would have a little more respect to the dead. Not anyone hear I just mean in general. The whole “Gold digger” this is stupid considering that stupid old man knew exactly what he was doing. Lets not mince words here. That man was in it for the nookie and he got it through money. Not every old man is a saint and I would guess most of them are pervs like the rest of us hah. I know Les did not call here a “Gold Digger” I was just speaking to that part.

Webs United States Posted on 02/09/2007 at 06:29 PM

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Anna Nicole huh…

So in other news…

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Bahamat United Kingdom Posted on 02/09/2007 at 06:35 PM

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DavidM: I just wish people would have a little more respect to the dead

They can’t do anything about it smirk
But the living can, conditional on them finding out

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Brock United States Posted on 02/09/2007 at 06:46 PM

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For all her celebrity, Anna Nicole Smith did nothing positive for society. Just like Paris Hilton, she was out for all she could get not give, and like Paris is, Anna was a waste of life.

Sorry, but that’s the way I see it and I’m sick to death of shallow celebrities.

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Bahamat United Kingdom Posted on 02/09/2007 at 06:54 PM

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I have to ask myself why be anything other than shallow deep down, especially if there is no afterlife to make it mean something; I don’t understand what drives ethical humanism because it’s not game theory - also you could put feelings associated with care for others down to the shallow interest of aiming to have a peaceful concience. As long as you always do the things that will put you in the most pleasent situation overall, you can be subconciously objective about what will achieve it.

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DavidM United States Posted on 02/09/2007 at 06:54 PM

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I would agree with you if you have done something positive for society. The bar is set pretty high for people that require media attention. Granted I think people that ask for attention are asking for it I think people still need to self-evaluate their own lives before they judge. I just happen to be very aware of death. I have not “become” a Buddhist but I lean that way. I just think people judging one way or another leads to problems since the same person cannot really claim anything they fault the person for. I do not mean everyone. There are plenty of people that do good and you may be one but I am speaking generally here.

Bahamat United Kingdom Posted on 02/09/2007 at 07:18 PM

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I agree about caution when judging
I try to not judge at all, thought is so changeable and quite often there is more to the situation. You are only really qualified to judge in the full knowledge of what’s gone on, so the only person really qualified to judge you here is yourself, even then I forget aspects of my past that mean I cannot decide whether overall I am a force for ‘good’ or ‘evil’ because it’s so blurred and in similar proportions and I cannot decide where to align myself, everyone’s an agent of change, so I can safely include myself there

I don’t aim to lead a good or bad life, more to raise awareness and share thoughts I’ve had. Unpleasant conditions are necessary for people to develop immunity and develop character (that people often avoid because it hurts hence some of the tendancies of society). I create these conditions when it looks like it would do the person good as a bitter pill, as well as benefit those around them. But I also want to, for a reason I don’t understand, make the process as painless as feasible, maybe just so people keep listening and don’t refute the ideas

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LuckyJohn19 Australia Posted on 02/09/2007 at 07:30 PM

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Dave: I just wish people would have a little more respect to the dead.

I didn’t respect her when she was alive - why the fuck should I change cos she’s dead.
As far as I’m concerned she’s just another dumb blonde doing the best she could with the assets she had - big tits.  LOL

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Bahamat United Kingdom Posted on 02/09/2007 at 07:34 PM

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LJ: As far as I’m concerned she’s just another dumb blonde doing the best she could with the assets she had - big tits

Speaking of those it may be time to get rid of those photos I have, there’s a taboo about that kind of thing. Maybe I shouldn’t though, surely she’ll be pleased in death to know she still brings pleasure.

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Last_Hussar United Kingdom Posted on 02/09/2007 at 07:36 PM

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Once again John shows us the caring sharing side of SEB…

...and laughs in it. wink

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Last_Hussar United Kingdom Posted on 02/09/2007 at 07:41 PM

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it may be time to get rid of those photos I have

Cyber-necrophilia!
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DavidM United States Posted on 02/09/2007 at 07:43 PM

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I agree that there is more to the situation then we know but what are we really qualified to judge outside of our own lives? I mean we can judge whatever we want but what are we “qualified” to judge? I forget a ton about my life and for good reason, because I have no urge to remember it(a good part of my teen and early 20’s life). In her case a lot of this was pushed on her (besides the old man thing, but this new paternity thing). Most people would not even think about her if it were not for the news bringing crazy attention to the fact that she did not know here her babies daddy was. I am sure plenty of Americans do not know that very thing.

I do not look for good or bad, that was probably a bad example but I just seek fairness. Everyone’s life is as equal as everyone else’s regardless of what price the “media” puts on it.

DavidM United States Posted on 02/09/2007 at 07:47 PM

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Thats fine luckyjohn19. I’m sorry that that is your view of the world(Not that it is hard, look at what the jackasses are doing with it). No pandering from me.. I am not religious but you have a shitass world view and more power to you. Then again you will not be said when people do not care when you die, so I guess that is fair.

Bahamat United Kingdom Posted on 02/09/2007 at 08:25 PM

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but what are we really qualified to judge outside of our own lives? I mean we can judge whatever we want but what are we “qualified” to judge?

I am mainly talking about judging a person’s personality based on their actions, thoughts, etc

I said essentially we cannot make an accurate, and therefore cannot make a fair judgement on things we don’t have full knowledge of. That means most stuff outside our lives is beyond what we can fairly judge. A serious decision should not be made on an incomplete judgement, otherwise the action could well be unjust, and makes the decider deserve an equally incomplete decision the other way. ‘Unjust’ includes both positive and negative.

I forget a ton about my life and for good reason, because I have no urge to remember it

Exactly, I’m pretty sure that’s why the years apear to fly; you forget the mundane stuff like waking up, eating breakfast, the journey to work, etc. I’m curious as to why sometimes I remember dreams and sometimes forget - I remembered the most obscure one last night - that I ate a USB flash drive and it tasted like sweet cake, except the chips tasted like wafer (possibly silicon wafer LOL )

Thats fine luckyjohn19. I’m sorry that that is your view of the world

It’s nethertheless a true view and part of the complete picture. Avoiding the negative views leaves your perspective as an illusion. LJ is being fair as to what level of respect he thinks she deserves. Not every dead person is worthy of respect, and quite often different levels of respect depending on what they’ve done in life to earn/disearn it.

DavidM: Then again you will not be said when people do not care when you die, so I guess that is fair.

I would like people to forget me after death, eases the bereavement, lets people move on, forgetting breaks links in the kindest possible way. I don’t want a funeral unless family need it, personally I don’t give a damn about what you do with my body after I die, won’t affect me

It is indeed fair that things come back as they were issued, but only if the reasoning behind the original decision was unjust and not resolved at a later date. LJ made a true statement, part of the complete perspective but not the complete perspective itself, no action was taken on it, so no unjust decision was made.

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Last_Hussar United Kingdom Posted on 02/09/2007 at 08:26 PM

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David- given what John went though in the 60s/70s (do you know he was in Vietnam), and the knock on effect that seems to have had, it is hardly surprising that he can seem a little jaded.  Plus he is an Aussie, which is basically Brit with no filters…

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elwedriddsche United States Posted on 02/09/2007 at 08:31 PM

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Anna who?

Next.

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KPatrickGlover United States Posted on 02/09/2007 at 08:35 PM

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LJ: As far as I’m concerned she’s just another dumb blonde doing the best she could with the assets she had - big tits.

Well, I like big tits.....

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Last_Hussar United Kingdom Posted on 02/09/2007 at 08:37 PM

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Anna who

She married a Dr didn’t she?

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DavidM United States Posted on 02/09/2007 at 08:37 PM

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I understand, now that you said, he went through Vietnam and yes that will jade anyone. But only to a certain extent. Life is worth whatever someone puts to it, obviously the judger’s life is worth more. This is nothing against John. Everyone has an opinion obviously. Inculding myself. But everyone is biased in their opinion because no one considers their lives on the same level as others. It is selfish habit that we ALL participate in. We look at life in as an outside observer even though we ar actually a player. I am not anti-death penalty just to bring that point up since it matter. But people should examine their own existence before they are so ready to accept the loss of said life for another.

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