More Nonsense Scientific “Theories” perverting our children’s minds.By Rev. Amos “Duke” Ashen
Human Evolution is only a theory – we know because they call it a theory themselves. The Godless egg-heads just can’t bring themselves to admit that the idea that we are all mutated monkeys is nothing but a foolish guess about where we come from in the sad soulless vacuum of their invented reality where intellectuals anoint themselves to be God. They invent these lies to relieve themselves of the social pressure they cannot bear to be moral folks living in the light of Christ’s love.
If our kids are convinced of this nonsense that we are nothing but mutated monkeys what reason is there to persuade our kids to be moral people? Our kids will be nothing but God-hating vile freaks if they have their minds messed up by the liberal media and their evil egghead theories.
Well, Recently I heard of another dumb egghead theory – but instead of being honest they call this one a “Theorem” – Doubtless to try to make it sound more credible than using the word “Theory”; a word which the righteous among us have debunked as being just another Godless lie.
No matter what name they use, “Pythagoras’ Theorem” is just another egghead theory. The eggheads will try to trick you into believing that they can tell you how big triangles are without measuring them.
If true it would be a god-hating devil worshipping trick but good folks can defeat this evil with the power of the truth of the Christ!
Try this –
1. Just let Christ’s love fill you and take a deep breath
2. Take your pencil and paper and draw
3. You will find you can draw the sides of triangle to be any length you want – That’s because God gave you Free Will. That something the communist eggheads can’t do!
Just try this proof of what I’m saying.
1) Draw a triangle of any size on a piece of paper and measure the sides of the triangle and write them on the paper.
2) Phone up your local godless communist university and ask to speak to one of their chief eggheads.
3) They will probably try to avoid your questions by telling you that they are busy of some other dance – typical godless liars– they don’t want to be shown up as the liars they are. Maybe you’ll have to pretend to be a student or something.
4) If you can get through to an egghead, tell them you’ve drawn a triangle and ask him/her to use Pythagoras’s Devil Magic to tell you how long the sides are.
5) The atheist liar will try to trick you into giving him hints – Don’t give him any – Tell the egghead that godless magic wont help him now because you are a soldier of the truth of CHRIST!!
6) He can’t tell you anything. Why? Because he’s just another godless liar – and the devil is a coward if you confront him.
Absurdly, even though you can prove that Pythagoras’ Devil Magic doesn’t work in the light of God’s love, somehow they have tricked some folks into printing it and allowing it into our innocent children’s schoolbooks and classes.
Just so you know how to recognize this devil-loving lie here is what an egghead told me about it.
1. They have these blasphemous godless names for the three sides of the triangle– “Hippopota- Moose”, “A.J.’s End”, and “Oppose It”.
I worked out myself that a “Hippopota- Moose” is the name of some evil genetic monster combination of a Hippopotamus and a Moose. That’s obviously evil.
“A.J.’s End” must be some sort of weirdo liberal bathroom humor – some “hiney” joke that I don’t get – that makes it evil.
“Oppose it” is obviously a message to other devil worshippers to whine about anything that Godly conservatives say to distract them from noticing how many of these godless lies are being sneaked into our children’s schools. In context of the other two names it must be evil too – that’s obvious.
2. They use some nonsense to define this devil magic. It’s probably a chant or something you have to write in blood on the walls.
a2 + b2 = c2
No matter what this means it’s obviously evil – If you find this written in your little ones schoolbooks it’s too late. Your best bet is probably to drown them in the bathtub next chance you get. You must save their soul, and God will forgive you.
3. This is the clincher to my case. Pythagoras was a pagan who believed he once heard the words of a passed friend in the bark of a dog.
Is the work of this lunatic really fit for teaching to our kids as the unquestioned and unchallenged truth?
I think not.
Our kid’s eternal souls must be protected from the work of godless freaks.
Yours in Christ,
Reverand A. Marmaduke Ashen
Posted on 12/13/2005 at 09:20 PM 
Aww crap, we’ve been rumbled!
Quick Schrödinger, sacrifice the cat!