As to why these asshat Christ-nazis keep breeding, God told them to.  Be fruitful and multiply.  Doesn’t matter if it looks like Jesus is peeking his head over a cloud or you see an angel with a horn take a deep breath, you should be at least thinking of popping out another soul for Jesus to save.

Having in my misspent youth received religious instruction from similar asshats, I was taught that Jesus was killed by the weight of the sins he bore for us.  Logically, then, the more children you have the more sinners there will be therefore to obey Yahweh you end up hurting Jesus, especially if all are sinners and fall short of the glory of God.

Of course, stupid dips like Ms. Mallory wouldn’t see logic if it bit her on her soccer-mom ass.  If she wants her children to receive religious instruction, there are plenty of private schools in the metro Atlanta area who would be happy to take her kids and her cash.  Otherwise she should mind her own damn business, though I know that is an impossibility for a twerp like her.

I’ve made this suggestion in the past…

If you want a truly interesting experience (especially while stoned), take some time out from your normal Sunday Morning habits and attend a local evangelical/fundamentalist/charismatic church service.  Better, find out when their mid-week “prayer service” is (most churches of this ilk have these on Wednesday) and attend that, too—but only after making your face known.

Don’t do anything to bring attention to yourself (yet).  Just, slowly, insinuate yourself into the flock.  Play nice.  Be polite.  And engage others only when approached.  (follow the usual narc behaviors)

Don’t hesitate to lie-by-omission (us gays are experts at this, so ask one for tips on how this tactic best works).  Gain their trust and affection.  Make them like you, but let them fill in your profile’s blank-spaces.

Affirm everyone who approaches you by smiling and nodding up-n-down as they converse with you, but try and contribute as little to the topic as possible.  Never, never make any declarations.  Just affirm with your body language, regardless of what they’re spewing.

Then, say after a month’s worth of Sundays (this can be accelerated by attending prayer services or, for the particularly narc-skilled, bible-studies!) be unabashadly honest in your interactions.

The results are both fascinating, entertaining, and edifying.  You’ll not only learn who the real thinkers are (and probably make a friend or two of this sort), but you’ll also have gained incredible insight (and tools) this growing fascism.

Seriously.  Try this.
It’s a good way to learn some scary things.

I went to one evangelical once a couple of years back, when my wife was baptised (don’t worry she’s a pro gay christian, though I suspect most of the people were homophobic).  I could never carry out Rob’s plan.  I could just about suppress the urge to tell them want a load of nonsense it was.  The though of sitting through this ‘Oh Jesus, we are so shit, your lovely, every one else is evil’ (this might be slightly paraphrased) twice a week or more is a thought I can not stand.  Well at least they will all burn in hell for idolatory. (St Peter: “You lot downstairs, worshipping Jesus instead of God")

LH: I could never carry out Rob’s plan.

Ditto - I couldn’t stop my face from showing obvious amazement.
I’m watching the Great Race (Bathurst 1000) and just before it started they had a sky pilot doing a prayer to jayzus.
I said ‘Ah Fuck’ and turned back to my monitor.
I just don’t have the time or patience for bullshit.

I couldn’t stop my face from showing obvious amazement.

It takes practice, lots of it.  The trick is to make conscious self believe that you agree with their statements.  And, as a fail-safe, concentrate on their nose and upon your own breath rate, giving you an easy method to ignore what you hearing, remembering to process their statements after the fact.

Breath slowly and delibertly, and concentrate on their nose or the space between their eyes.  And, never, never take a sip from a drink as a way to mask a smirk. It doesn’t work, unless your tilting your head all the way down into the cup.
;-]

Its not very often that a woman merits simple degrading insults and a quasi-elaborate arguement from myself, but here are both.

Laura Mallory, I quote a movie in saying that from your actions, you have proven to be a cock-juggling, thundercunt! (if anyone can tell me what movie thats from, thanks, I think it’s from blade or something)

It’s damn foolish to like Wicca and Happy Potter, for many reasons.  Happy Potter makes little if any references to witchcraft in general, apart from the simple use of magick. 

Also, with the rule of three and peaceful nature wiccans take towards nature and all things, the wiccans would be the LEAST likely candidates to committ a shooting, next to pacifists.

Its the world of the bible, of catholicism, that fosters hatred, arrogance and boundless bigotry.  She needs to get off of her cushioned seat in her ivory tower built on the backs of their religion’s victims, and realize that her religon is thew cause of the source of evil.

Now to write some e-mails, rock on everyone and of course, give the middle finger to anyone trying to convert you to that bullshit.

Rob: And, never, never take a sip from a drink as a way to mask a smirk. It doesn’t work, unless your tilting your head all the way down into the cup.

I couldn’t even read that with a straight face ... I’d be walking round for the whole session with my face in the cup.

After reading Harry Potter, and listening to her I have wanted to kill… the fundamentalists. 

I own a cool sticker button saying ‘Kill All Fanatics!’ at home

$50 SAYS SHE HAS NEVER READ _ANY_ OF THE BOOKS

Hey, in the age of the internet attention span, 15 minutes of skimming counts as ‘having read’.

The bible is used as justification for more wars, genocide, serial killings, mass murder, bigotry, theft, rape, slavery, and various forms of torture than any other single publication in the history of man.

How come it never gets banned?

Same reason churches don’t get taxed. Here we call that ‘existing use rights’.

Generally speaking, the Christ-Nazis are a lot more motivated, better organized, and better communicators than those they oppose.

They are angry (or use people who are). Nothing to get you motivated like that.

I couldn’t even read that with a straight face ... I’d be walking round for the whole session with my face in the cup.

Being in your cups might make this more believable too

I could pull off .rob’s challenge, but I’d really rather not do so. I realize I’m putting the lie to the ‘Evil’ in my blog name, but I’m just too nice a guy to go out and intentionally fuck with people that haven’t antagonized me personally first.

I give the True Believers™ that come here a hard time only because they’ve taken the first metaphorical swing at me. Left alone I’m not inclined to harass most people.

Laura Mallory, I quote a movie in saying that from your actions, you have proven to be a cock-juggling, thundercunt! (if anyone can tell me what movie thats from, thanks, I think it’s from blade or something)

Ugh. I hate that I know this. Blade: Trinity. It’s one of Ryan Reynolds lines.

Hey now people, ease up!  Its idiots like this that is giving me material for my research paper on the Harry Potter controversy.  The majority of my classmates have no idea that there are morons like Mallory in the world that want to ban Harry Potter from everything.  I want to try to show the ignorance of those who are small minded.

Heather, are you worried that our ridicule and mockery will cause idiocy to become extinct?

If only it were so.  You’ll probably have more raw material for that unit than you can use…

No, I am not worried about the ridicule and mockery.  I would like for narrow-mindedness to become extinct.

Heather: I would like for narrow-mindedness to become extinct.

You and me both, sister! We should start a worldwide movement.

Heather: I want to try to show the ignorance of those who are small minded.

I lost my virginity to a Heather ... I can still remember it so clearly. It was ... 
Sorry, what were we talking about ... ah yes.
So, Heather, you’re setting your goal fairly low and easily attainable.
Until I Googled ‘Harry Potter controversy’ and got this and this I hardly had any idea there was one.

LuckyJohn: I lost my virginity to a Heather ... I can still remember it so clearly. It was ...

Awww, I’ll bet you were really cute when you were younger, too (not to insinuate that you’re no longer cute, of course ).

As long as we’re playing that game, I lost my virginity to an Ezekiel. He wasn’t very good.  

But anyway, before the thread wanders irretrievably off-topic (sorry, Les!), I’m sure we’re all familiar with the batshit-insane conservative web-rag Worldnetdaily‘s report of an Onion article. That little incident revealed everything there is to know about the (lack of) integrity among the ranks of the Christian Right.

Heather, spread the word!!!  For your paper, you should take a sampling of your classmates who don’t know about this and have THEM read about Laura Mallory and some of the email responses she generated.  Then interview them and include the results in your paper.

Speaking of research, this woman has really hit 4-for-4!!

Did she read the Harry Potter books?
Did she obtain police profiles of the killers to
prove how all of them were HP fans (and thus
Satanists)
Did she talk to any children and ask them if
they planned on giving up the church to
practice witchcraft?
Did she read the bible cover-to-cover?

But, as JKR has proven in her books through Snape’s bullying, even bad examples are necessary.  Ms Mallory has given millions of people a great perspective of what NOT to do if we want any self respect.  And what not to think if we want to connect to our own spirituality.

I’d be rolling on the ground laughing if I weren’t so disgusted at her unforgivable appropriation of what those poor victims suffered to prop up her own my-way-or-no-way preaching.

One thing is obvious. This lobbyist hasn’t done her homework. And worse, she comes to conclusions using logical fallacies.

Particularly the fallacy of the Slippery Slope

oh another christian pushing their bible promotion the spreading of mass belief idiocy.....sorry but she says wiccans are evil, atleast they didnt burn christians on a steak or push christians off cliffs...but one thing christianity destroyed alot of ancient religions...if you agree email me damnit lol

I agree and I’ll email you

wtf.....bibles in skool? if u want ur kid to be religous then send him or her to a friggin catholic skool...-_- north america is a mosaic country dumbass ..... vr nah all christianz here…

Erm… I cannot believe she want’s to ban Harry Potter! I mean what a stupid life goal… Can’t she do something else like, oh, I don’t know, TRY TO CONVINCE THE WORLD THAT THE HOLOCAUST DIDN’T EXIST OR THAT THE CHURCH IS COMPLETLY GOOD!

/sarcasam

/rant

-Ema

I truely believe that if she gave the books a chance, she would really understand that they are books that will keep you off the edge of your seat. They will make you break into
laughter. They will make you break into hysterical tears. D’you read anywhere in the books where J.K.R says “Oh, try this witchcraft kids…”. Answer: NO!

And exactly how does Harry Potter influence idiotic kids to start school shootings? The book is really a war between good and evil. You see wars between good and evil on the news! In magazines! In the bible for crying out loud! If Laura Mallory doesn’t want her children to experience the magic of Harry Potter because of her own ignorance, that’s her problem. But, banning the books from all of us is complete nonsense.

I feel bad for her children, because they have to miss out on the greatness that is Potter. They also have to live with an ignorant mother who thinks one of the greatest series in the world exposes kids to witchcraft. Honestly, would it kill her to have a little imagination? These books have helped some of us through the darkest of times, they’ve given us comfort when we felt useless. All of the characters, Harry, Ron, and Hermione mostly, have become some of our best friends. They have some how gotten stuck in our heads, sometimes helping us make a difficult choice. What Harry Potter fan doesn’t have Hermione telling you off when you know you’ve done something wrong?

Another thing, Mallory hasn’t even read a Harry Potter book fully. How would she know if they were evil or not? Ignorance. Complete ignorance. This woman has to give up. Harry Potter is what helps some of us get through the day, banning it is like banning an important nutrient that some readers cannot live without.

$50 SAYS SHE HAS NEVER READ _ANY_ OF THE BOOKS

She has said publicly that she has never read the books.

I was hoping that i wouldnt run into this crazy women again. She is a bad mark on our state and gives our people a bad name. We are great people down here and she isnt even a native and yet she takes it upon herself to come down and take her anger out in our courts and on our land. Believe me this women is not a product of Georgia upbringing. I’am and i have not problem with Harry Potter books. After all the South is full of great story tellers and we love a good story to listen to. Its part of our past our present and by God it will be part of our future. Miss Mallroy is branding native Georgians something that their not..... and ill be damned if she thinks she can get away with it. Im a christian and a devoted one as well, yet you dont see me raising holy hell over a damn book. But i do raise holy hell over people like Laura Mallroy who paint us in the South as something were not. Were good people and shes just a thorn in ourside.