Yesterday wasn’t as bad as the past couple of days in terms of my grieving process. I managed to only tear up a couple of times at work and I was pretty much back to normal for most of the night. I found myself able to laugh again. I mean really laugh as in full-on-from-the-belly laugh. Anne and I had a small argument and worked our way through it. Life was back to what passes for normal around here. Instead of the searing pain I felt for the past few days whenever I happened to think of Bill I found it was more of a dull numbness. That means I’m making my way along the process right about as I should. The numbness will pass in time as well. I’m not angry about the whole situation anymore as long as I don’t dwell on it.
The viewings for Bill will be held later today. I’ll probably find the pain will return for awhile today as well as tomorrow when the funeral itself will take place. I have been given the great honor of being one of his pallbearers. This will be the first time in my life as a pallbearer. It’s an honor I hope I don’t have to repeat too frequently in the future. I miss him terribly already.
I realize my blog has become a somewhat depressing on-going saga on this tragedy, but it is starting to come to a close. I’ll probably talk a little about how the viewings or the funeral went and then I’ll start getting back to my usual mix of poor attempts at humor and general bitching about stupid people. I promise. Thanks to all of you who have kept reading during this difficult period.
Posted on 02/20/2003 at 11:54 PM 
actually, please keep us posted on the developing investigation- and i’m glad you’re feeling better.
I think you should talk about it as much and as often as you need to. Grief is a tricky bastard. Especially as the investigation into the idiot who caused the accident progresses, new feelings may come up for you.
((((((((((((((les))))))))))))))