<...Sunfell succumbs to temptation and steps up to the mike…>

    KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!

I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.

II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.

III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).

IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.

V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads.

IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED.

Sunfell
(diving into her bunker)

FNORDS!!!

SEB is infested with FNORDS!!!

Remember kids, bringing about armegedon can be dangerous to you health

Hath thou had thy hotdog sans bun ?

Now, back to the regions of Thud with you sir

Good luck with this thread.  I doubt they’ll be that orderly since they want to get their message out. I imagine they’ll post where it’s active.  But that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.

Howard the Duck was really a fun movie.  Really.  I liked it a lot, from the first time I saw it in the theaters.  I mean, a George Lucas production!  ILM fx!  Jeffrey Jones! Lea Thompson!  Hard-rocking action!  Kinky Duck-on-Woman sexual attraction!  What’s there not to like?

Those of you who disagree are Philistines, and very likely destined to go to hell.  I have that on Very Good Authority.

So there.

Bad idea.  Encourage free-speech, encourage them to post.  Engage them.  That’s what (culture) war is all about.

I enjoy their comments, actually.
And, towards that point, i encourage people to regularly watch the 700Club (like i do, every day).  Understand the otherside, better than they.

(I love that term, “culture war”, is sounds so FarScape-ish, akin to the peacekeeper wars—good movie, bzw)

I always knew ***Dave was nothing but a troublemaker.

Verilly those who hath disagreed with the holder of the Three Asterisks shall be dashed against the rocks, and visitied upon by a plague of bad movies starring lesser Ducks such as The Donald “You’re Fried” Duck star of the new television show “The Hatchling”

Not to mention bad hockey movies containing “Mighty” Ducks and by the manifold names of God ... Movies with Corey Feldman in them — for our MaLORD (Mallard?) is a pissed off Malord when it comes to his movies dammnit!

Thus is the quack of the MaLord.

Aduck

So, what’s is the true meaning of the three *‘s ?
I’m assuming it’s some reference to the Christian trinity, correct ?

BZW, am i the only one who thinks this guy looks like Big Pauly Castellano ?

I always thought the three *‘s were Orion’s Belt, but then again, I usually have a cranial/rectal infraction going on

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fthagn!
Ph’nglui mglw’nfah Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

Well, beyond the “ia! ia!“ (which is somewhat close to the Arabic/Aravi “eye-wa” for “yes”, i think that’s a junk post.

At this rate of posting, Les will have to open a follow-up thread by the time Revelator can get back to us…

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fthagn!
Ph’nglui mglw’nfah Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

.rob (what does YOUR dot stand for?), it’s probably a call to worship some Dark Elder God or have him feast on your madness. Oh, and you will burn in eternal pain if you don’t understand it.

One hell of a choice, eh?

********Godamnned captcha*********
(Doesn’t play well with firewalls)

I bet it’s a microdot. If you sufficiently enlarge the pixel, all kinds of clandestine messages will be exposed.

Sheesh. I should have seen this coming.

The three asterisks are quite reminiscent of Kibo’s signature…

Anyway, here’s MY dogma. The dogma of Likewise. You can find the original here.

The Likewise Pledge of Allegiance

I Pledge Allegiance to a Nation of One with its States United and Indivisible.
I Pledge Allegiance to a war programme of mentally assaulting pigeons.
I Pledge Allegiance to an eternal war.
I Pledge that pigeons will be fed, and will never know how close they came to being assaulted with great prejudice and latte.
I Pledge Allegiance to Dreams.
I Pledge Allegiance to a United Nation that has no Kent State, no Vietnam, no Tiananmen, no Dresden, no Ardennes and no Calcutta.
My horrors, atrocities and bombs will be on the inside,
confined to My territories and My laws.
I Pledge Allegiance to an anti-expansion programme.
The United States of Likewise will neither assimilate not destroy nor swear fealty to another Nation.
No sir.
The South will not hate the North nor vice-versa. The heart shall not hate the brain, nor the leg the ear. That is what indivisible means. If there is Civil War, there will be trouble.
There is only one state of Likewise.
No second, or thirteenth, or fifty-first.
I Pledge Allegiance to The Other Six Billion Nations.
I Pledge Allegiance to diplomacy,
Where Unwritten Rules and Handshakes Mean Something,
and no-one looks in a Diplomat’s Bag.
I Pledge Allegiance to the 1920s and the samurai and nurse.
I also Pledge Myself to the principles for which they stand.
I will like it, eat it, hate it, look after it and behead it. As required.
I kneel only to the highest mountains and the deepest rivers and the smallest flowers.
I kneel only to pigeons, because they are the scapegoats and more beautiful to me than the eagle.
But this must never be caught on film.
I pledge allegiance to the United States of Likewise,
and to the orbiting rock on which it stands,
one Nation underground,
Indivisible,
with Liberty and Latte for all!

(A question about MEEEEEEEEE ?!?!?!?)

In the somewhat future (from where i come) people will greatly admire homogenic Western text, and even collect now obscure magazines of all sorts (e.g., HELLO! magazine being a particular favourite).  Your offspring will look at this era, particularly the 1980-1990’s akin to how many of you look at the 1950’s or the Curry-n-Ives pictoralae.

(I can tell you many things about this near-future, such as…  computers are touched rather than using keyboards, new workers live in a communal fashion, men eat standing up (for proper digestion), and houses always have pointed tops to release the heat—a/c is non-existant).

AnwayS, periods are obselete and carry a certain nostalgia for a long gone era of peace, relative prosperity, and lost sense of individuality.  In this present age, periods singnify a conclusion, an end, right ?  Right.  Like you view fins on a car, or paper straws, periods are to your future generations.

I admire this era, no matter its bliss-filled decadence and short-lived corruption.

To quote a favourite movie:
“All i see is dead people.“

So, in conclusion:

.rob adams

Foamy, the Lord and Master.  Join the Card Cult. heh

Ok, explain this cult.
I don’t see the point.

Look, i admire cults—don’t get me wrong.
But, i totally expect something in return for my participation.  In the past, cults have provided a bunch of good loot, such as sex, riches, friends, and even free food (London’s Krishna have one of the best free-buffets around).

So, what the hell do i get out of this card-kult thingy mah-jig? Hmm?

(BZW, the last oposter totallt looks like Smith of Clerks fame—is it so ??)

I BELIEVE IN THE CULT OF THE MOUSE CHARGER.

EVERY NIGHT MY MOUSE ENDS UP ON THE CHARGER.

IF I FORGET THE WORLD WILL END.

SAVE ME OH MOUSE CHARGER.

SAVE ME.

To quote the monk from Monty Python and the Holy Grail…

Monk:
And the Lord spoke, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.“

God I love those movies…their version of religious piety makes about as much sense as any other

Given that this post seems to have lost its purpose, can I use this post to engage you people on my theory on how the Atheists and Agnostics are God’s chosen people and that these people will go to heaven in a greater probability than people of faith? To simplify the arguments, let us limit ourself to discussion of the Christian religion.

1) Belief/Religion as key to Heaven: Myth
Christians often proclaim that the key to going to heaven is the belief in Christ and that non-believers are going to Hell. The problem with this is the Jesus only came to earth 2000 years ago. But the earth was created more than 2000 years ago even by those who adopt the literal 4000 biblical account. Therefore, it means that until the arrival of Jesus, there is no Christian religion. There is Judaism as a possible ancestor to the Christian religion. But it is not widespread and certainly not available in places such as China or Americas. Therefore, it would be odd for God to send these people to Hell for not being Christians because such a religion did not even exist at that time. When Jesus appeared he provided the explanation but unfortunately people has misinterpreted him. Which leads nicely to the next section.

2) Idol worship / Jesus: Do not worship me
Jesus talked about Idol worship and that one should not worship him. What he means is that one should not adopt a religion. One should not use the cross or rosary beads as prayer objects for that is idol worship. Worship in the context of a religion is idol worship for one is focus on religious teachings and books which are external rather than internal. We must look at God’s gift of free will and how religion is antithetical to it.

3) Free Will
God gave humans free will and this free will means looking into one’s heart and soul to see the divine rather than mere idol worship of some religious book and rules. When God created man, he fashioned man with a touch of his own divinity for man was created in God’s own apperance. And as such by looking at rules written by man in religious books and interpreted by man one has in effect subjected the touch of God’s divinity in each and every human being to being ruled by a lesser being. One is in effect going against the will of God through mere adherence religious books and teaching for they are used against the divine gift of free will that resides in the heart of all man.

4) Test of God and Journey to salvation
The story of how God test man is a clear example of his intent in not allowing man to seek the simple route of blind adherence to religious teachings and books. It is simple for someone to tell one the rules and for that said someone to follow it. It is inherently more divine for one to learn about the rules themselves and encapsulate it into one’s life not because someone said that it is a rule; but rather because that said someone through use of his divine gift of free will adopts the rule through his own comprehension and understanding.

5) True lesson of the Garden of Eden
When God cast Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden, the lesson God wants man to learn is not that one must follow the rules. The sin is not in disobeying the orders but the sin is in failure to use man’s own divine heart to select a course of action.

6) Atheist and Agnostics are the chosen ones
These group of people do not use a religious teaching or a book to lead their lives. But rather they look into themselves, they look at society and they act in a manner that is fitting. Sure not all will succeed but many are able to lead a life of love and tolerance. They are able to fully utilise the gift of free will, being able to take the test of God in their arduous journey of to salvation and finally to learn the true lesson of the Garden of Eden. They are able to take a step closer to God through realising that what makes God divine and Man a creation of God wonderous is not the blind following rules for if that is what God wants he can look to the world of physics but rather being able to looking within and lead a life of independent thought and contemplation. For just as God need not look to rules to guide him, he wants man not to look to rules but to look within himself and see the God within.

Jeez, you make a few innocuous comments about a duck movie, and the next thing you know, someone’s building a religion around it.

1.  Regarding the three stars ... the truth is, as usual, a lot more prosaic than the conspiracy theorists would have it.

2.  Regarding movies with Corey Feldman in them, I have just three words:  The Lost Boys.  Corey is hereby forgiven all subsequent aesthetic sins.

4 ... (3, sir!)

3. Pauly Castellano?  Heh.  My Italian grand-uncles in the trucking industry would be dutifully amused.  Or, maybe, not. (But it’s probably time to redo my GrAvatar, since I’m bewhiskered again.)

Yes, Les, you should have seen this coming.  Never give the children free reign again.

I for one need to get my hands on a Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.

Eton: Love your gravitar.

This is scary: Pop Tart’s atheist/agnotic post actually made logical sense to me. Makes me realize that in spite of my Pagan camoflauge, I am really a Freethinker at heart.

Too bad most Christians spend their idle time idolising the idyll of Christ. People ask me if I’ve ‘found Jesus’, and I tell them, “yeah, he’s hiding from his fans in my back room.“

I like Robert Heinlein’s attitude towards religion. Especially his phrase: “One man’s religion is another man’s belly laugh.“ Some proto-Discordian must have taken that literally.

Sunfell