Coming soon to a bra near you: iTits.

Posted by Les on Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 11:09 PM. Read 2731 times. Tags:
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Remember that immature and childish joke where you hold up both your hands at about chest height in front of a woman with your fingers posed in a manner that made it look like you were grasping the knobs of a radio tuner where upon you made twisty gestures while saying “TUNE IN TOKYO” as though the poor woman’s breasts were actually a shortwave radio set? Surely just about every young male has pulled that joke at least once and just about every young girl has had it done to them at one point in time or another. Hell, I did it to my wife just a few weeks back, which just goes to show you’re never too old to act like an immature jerk.

Anyway, sometime in the next 15 years that joke may become reality. Sort of… A company called BT Futurology is predicting that one day not too far in the future a woman’s breast implants will be able to double as an MP3 player with one boob holding the MP3 player on a chip and the other the owner’s entire music collection:

BT Laboratories’ analyst Ian Pearson said flexible plastic electronics would sit inside the breast. A signal would be relayed to headphones, while the device would be controlled by Bluetooth using a panel on the wrist.

According to The Sun he said: “It is now very hard for me to think of breast implants as just decorative. If a woman has something implanted permanently, it might as well do something useful.”

Can you imagine the accessory market for something like that? I mean, considering the sort of things that have come out for the iPod I can only imagine the holders and speaker add-ons for the iTits. Instead of Podcasts we can have Boobcasts! It’s a great idea and I think someone should start working on it right away. If for no other reason that the humor factor it would allow for.

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tim gueguen Canada Posted on 10/14/2005 at 01:28 AM

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Remember that immature and childish joke where you hold up both your hands at about chest height in front of a woman with your fingers posed in a manner that made it look like you were grasping the knobs of a radio tuner where upon you made twisty gestures while saying “TUNE IN TOKYO� as though the poor woman’s breasts were actually a shortwave radio set? Surely just about every young male has pulled that joke at least once and just about every young girl has had it done to them at one point in time or another

Must be some sort of regional thing, because this is the first I’ve ever heard of it.

Slick United States Posted on 10/14/2005 at 02:42 AM

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Man, now I wish I had boobs.  :(

lambic Canada Posted on 10/14/2005 at 08:50 AM

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Just to clarify slightly:

The company is BT, aka British Telecom.

BT Labs is a huge research and development centre in Martlesham, Suffolk full of geeky engineer types.

BT Futurology is a slightly wacky department at BT Labs staffed by weird scientists like Professor Frink from the Simpsons who spend their days thinking up stuff that might be developed in the future.

If I have the right guy, Ian Pearson is a spokesbody for the BT Futurology department who has a penchant for wearing very silly ties.

Greg United States Posted on 10/14/2005 at 11:38 AM

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New from Bose: The iShaker.
With the iShaker, your new iTits will shake, bob, rumble and roll to the beat of your favorite iBoob tunes.
Great attention getter for parties, reuinions and small get togethers!

Neil T. Europe Posted on 10/15/2005 at 09:56 AM

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Ian Pearson’s home page (not likely to win any web design awards). One of my lecturers has met him before. As lambic says, a bit of a nutter.

leguru United States Posted on 10/15/2005 at 10:33 PM

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If they’re playing a lulaby, can I put my head on the pillows? Ahhh, the possibilities are endless. grin

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cindy United States Posted on 10/15/2005 at 11:12 PM

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Hey to each their own. I have enough trouble keeping my boobs off the floor without additional radio weight.  What makes sense to me would be to implanted it in men.  One nut sack for the pod.  One for the music. And using the penis as a control stick.  The only problem might be when individuals get excited pod might stiff, I mean get stuck on one song.

Justice United States Posted on 10/16/2005 at 12:38 PM

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Oh yeah. iNuts! Just think, guys, an excuse to tug, jerk, or otherwise readjust anytime, anywhere.

I just want to see the handy new wall charger for the iNuts!

Les United States Posted on 10/16/2005 at 12:56 PM

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I’m not scratching myself, I’m changing songs on my iNuts!

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cindy United States Posted on 10/16/2005 at 08:05 PM

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Wall Charger! Excellent Justice! LOL

ingolfson Germany Posted on 10/20/2005 at 06:05 PM

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But wouldn’t the iNuts sound quality suffer, if you interface it with other systems?

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