Allen Michael Beckett, a 54 year-old church deacon, decided he didn’t like the fact that someone had the audacity to walk into a bar wearing a t-shirt from a rival college football team. So he decided to take things into his own hands:
Thomas wore a University of Texas shirt into a bar popular with fans of the University of Oklahoma and said Beckett immediately taunted him.
After about 20 minutes at a table, Thomas said he decided to leave and went to pay his tab at the bar when Beckett attacked him.
“I turned around and he grabbed a hold of my testicles,” Thomas said.
When a pair of bar patrons tried to separate the two men, Thomas said he heard a popping sound, looked down and saw a lot of blood.
“I saw a tear and an exposed testicle,” Thomas said. “I panicked.”
Beckett’s attorney said that Thomas was the aggressor and that his client defended himself only after the younger, bigger man went up to the bar to confront him.
I’m not sure, but I don’t think tearing a guy’s balls off is exactly what Jesus would do in that situation. Maybe circumcise the guy, but definitely not tear his balls off.
After supressing the urge to vomit…
Maybe we’d better be nicer to the True Believers from now on. I don’t care how much Physical violence means losing the arguement- I’d rather have both of ‘em than win…