One can only suspect that the Aqua Dots scare is a large-scale hoax, perpetrated by a sinister cabal intent on keeping the Western world (a) anxious about personal safety, and (b) focused on anything but our real problems, from global warming to misguided military actions. Want evidence? I’ve got some.

I’m not sure there is a conspiracy here Josh…

There are a lot of stories bouncing around about a toy in Australia, Bindeez, which are apparently little beads that adhere to one another when you wet them. There are a ton of news sources getting very confused, but Reuters seems to have gotten it: they are contaminated with 1,4-butanediol, which your body metabolizes into GHB (a banned so-called “date rape drug.")

Just remember this Josh:  Just because you are paranoid, doesn’t mean they ARE out to get you.

Barring the possibility that you are going along with the semi-satirical tone of the article, what proof is in that piece at all?  I read a bunch of assumptions and conjecture there, no actual evidence.

Besides, isn’t there some sort of Internet Axiom about citing Nazis and Hitler or something?  Are the ones behind this conspiracy the same folks that brought us the World Trade Center attacks?

I use Gmail for my account here at SEB, and this notification from your comment, Bog Brother, had a Google Advertisement about a 9/11 conspiracy website. It just made me laugh for some reason.

Scientists say a chemical coating on the beads, when ingested, metabolizes into the so-called date rape drug gamma hydroxy butyrate. When eaten, the compound - made from common and easily available ingredients - can induce unconsciousness, seizures, drowsiness, coma and death.

WTF, JG? 

It looks like the “proof” is there for the fact that this is not a hoax.

Quoting your own article is not an unbiased source of proof.  Nor do you provide facts, so much as opinion and commentary.

Why don’t you conduct a personal test of the dots?  Try swallowing a handful and get back to us in a couple of days.

Webs:  I usually don’t pay attention to gmail ads myself, but I think we have all the evidence we need for conspiracy right there ol’ buddy.

Hey if Google Ads say Bush did it, it must be true right? 

Where can I get some of these beads? I feel like taking a trip outside my own skull for a few hours.

What’s the dosage I wonder, one bead for mild drowsiness and five beads for a week-long coma?

Eh, Australia had two coma kids and New Zealand one, we aren’t merged. 
When did America have any cases? I read an article that Aqua Dots were pulled because they are Bindies* renamed in America which are the bran that caused this.

*Probably incorrect name

Hmmm… Sounds like the usual combination of incompetence and indifference to me.  Another good reason to not buy any toys from China, which are largely produced by factories that violate even Chinese labor laws, which are hardly exemplary.  Do you really need to buy that Disney toy made by Chinese who work up to fifteen hours a day, twenty-eight days a month, for thirty-two cents an hour, under filthy, toxic conditions?

But stuff from China is cheaper then food and gas!

/sarcasm

The only problem with not buying toys from China is the fact that it pretty much eliminates the majority of your choices:

After recent high-profile recalls of some Barbie, Polly Pocket and Thomas & Friends products, you’ve vowed not to buy Chinese-made toys this Christmas.

Good luck.

Even though it’s shaping up to be the “anti-China Christmas,” your kid’s stocking likely will be stuffed with Chinese-made toys — unless you put oranges in it. That’s because 80% of all toys sold in the USA are made in China. Some internal toy-industry estimates show only about 10% are actually made here.

More important, there’s mounting evidence that avoiding Chinese-made toys may not be worth it. New research shows that most of the toy recalls in the last 20 years were due to design problems by the U.S. toymakers, not manufacturing problems that were the fault of Chinese or other foreign plants. U.S. toymakers also are far from immune to safety problems and may have at least as high a percentage of recalls as China when the USA’s small market share is considered.

And if you do go the U.S.-made route, be ready for limited choices and, perhaps, a tough sell to the kids. Most U.S.-made toys are wooden, old-fashioned “nostalgia” toys, such as blocks or puzzles, that may not hold the interest of kids older than toddlers. There’s Slinky, the twisty-wire-walking toy from the 1950s, and some plastic toys like K’Nex construction sets.

When parents start looking for U.S.-made toys, “They’ll be surprised at how few there are,” says Gary Lindsey, marketing vice president for toy retailer eToys.com.

Still, retailers are scrambling to add U.S.-made toys to their shelves. And manufacturers are gearing up.

Good luck to all you parents with younger kids out there. Fortunately for me Courtney is old enough that most of what she wants comes from Japan.