What the fuck does a child and an adult being alone together have to do with the scandals. WHY THE FUCK ARE CHILDREN AUTOMATICALLY AT RISK TO BEGIN WITH? I have a solution. Abolish the Catholic religion, maybe that would help.

You’d think the Church could hire the guardian angels to police the clergy, instead of just having them ineffectually hover in comic books.

I have a solution. Abolish the Catholic religion, maybe that would help.

While Catholicism has done something to rear pedophiles (chastity is bad, IMO), most of the pedos would end up fucking children in other fashion (or if they live in countries where it’s allowed, fucking animals instead).

What I want is a statistical comparison - I want to know how much Catholic priests contribute to this. Course, that would require accurate reporting. Hah.

They should sell those coloring books on late night TV.  I can see the infomercial right now…

Hi kids, I’m father Peder and I’ve got a great coloring book here that will teach all of you beautiful children how to cock block your local priests when they start getting a little too randy after dipping into the Jesus juice one too many times. 

Take this drawing here that lets you know you should never be in a closed room with only an adult, you and your guardian angle.  This situation sends the wrong signs to the priest making him think that you want some kind of freaky 3 way instead of just him.

There’s moral authority for you: “We hold the keys to your very salvation or damnation, and here’s how to protect yourself from us”

The Catholic church let this happen.  If I were a bishop the first case I found out about would serve as an examples to the others.  When he got out of the hospital and then out of prison, that is.

Mother to son: Actually Billy, Father Flaherty’s balls should be blue.

dof: “We hold the keys to your very salvation or damnation, and here’s how to protect yourself from us”

I think they’re in an impossible situation - if they did complain they’d be scorned by many + probably their parents, they can’t really say no.

If priests are supposed to be serious about chastity, the church could get them spade/neutered, that would stop the sinnin’, and going through with it’d be a test of dedication

the church could get them spade/neutered

Ah, man, that takes me back a few centuries. The Eunuchs used to have to do the same to prove their exclusive loyalty to the emperor - which I suppose qualifies as a god under the belief system of the time. Of course, the proof had a flaw, and rumour has it the Eunuchs were a wily bunch who had their own little thing going under the emperor’s nose - particularly, that they stole gratuitously from him, and burned part of the Forbidden City just to hide the evidence of an unusually large heist.

One of the early church leaders, Origen, did exactly that.  Got tired of accusations against his sexual purity.  How nutso religious would you have to be to cut off your nads in the first place, let alone in the 5th century without anesthesia, sanitary operating conditions, or antibiotics?

I can see the t-shirt now: “I gave up my nuts for Jesus!”

“I gave up my nuts for Jesus!”

Do you think there’d be a big market for those, Les?  Anyway, isn’t there something in the Old Testament that would speak against that?  Leviticus 21:16-21 says:

And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto Aaron, saying,

Whosoever [he be] of thy seed in their generations that hath [any] blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God.

For whatsoever man [he be] that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,

Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded,

Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;

No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.

Of course, this might be one of the many rules in the Old Testament that Jesus superceded.  Or did He?  There’s only one way to find out: become a Christian, break your stones, and see if you go to Hell when you die.  If anyone wants to try this out, please let us know what happens: curious minds want to know.