It’s a love affair that has lasted since the 1600’s, Canada and the north magnetic pole, but it all seems to be falling apart now. Rumor has it that NMP, as Canada affectionately calls its long-time companion, has broken off the long standing relationship and appears to be headed for a rendezvous with Russia.
Scientists say Canadians may need to adjust to the fact that our pole is now headed straight toward Russia.
“Yeah, it’s going to be a bit of a blow to the Canadian psyche to have it move off out of Canadian territory,” says Larry Newitt, the head of Natural Resources Canada geomagnetic laboratory in Ottawa which measured the pole’s location earlier this year.
“But, at least for the immediate future, it will be closer to Canada than to any other country.”
Sure, like many other rejected lovers, it’s only natural that Canada would be willing to settle for merely being close to its former partner, but sooner or later it’s going to have to come to grips with the breakup and move on with life. There are plenty of other magnetic poles in the world just waiting for… oh, wait, no there aren’t. There’s only one other magnetic pole and it’s done its best to stay as far away from Canada as it can for eons now. Oh well.
Posted on 06/13/2005 at 11:23 PM 
It’s only natural.
Most people/animals/everyfuckingthingelse, want to get as far away from Canadia as fast as possible.
Even Canadians.
It’s E-vo-lut-ion...or some shit.
Science man, who can figure?