In a continuing effort to show us, through example, cool dirty tricks and surefire ways to have one’s opponent burned at the stake, the Republican National Committee admitted to the following:
RNC Says It Sent Mail Warning Bible Ban
Washington AP News
Sep 24, 7:38 PM (ET)
By DOUGLASS K. DANIEL
The Republican National Committee acknowledged this week that it distributed campaign literature in West Virginia and Arkansas warning voters that liberals want to ban the Bible.
When reporters asked about the mailings on Sept. 17, RNC Chairman Ed Gillespie said he wasn’t aware of the material and did not confirm that it was distributed by the GOP. However, Gillespie said it “could be the work” of the party.
Contacted Friday by The Associated Press, party spokeswoman Christine Iverson said the GOP had already acknowledged it was the source of the mass mailings.
The literature claims that “the liberal agenda includes removing ‘under God’ from the Pledge of Allegiance” and shows a Bible with the word “BANNED” across it. It also shows a photo of a man, on his knees, placing a ring on the hand of another man with the word “ALLOWED,” a reference to same-sex marriage.
The mailing tells people to “vote Republican to protect our families” and defeat the “liberal agenda.
If President Bush wins re-election, people along 52nd Street in Kenosha, Wis., might think it’s because Joseph Torcaso predicted he would.
“I’m the oracle,” Torcaso said as he stood outside Tenuta’s, an Italian restaurant about 35 miles south of Milwaukee.
Bush stopped here between two campaign events Friday in southern Wisconsin, a state he narrowly lost to Al Gore in 2000. White House chief of staff Andy Card spoke with Torcaso outside the restaurant, across the street from Torcaso’s shop.
“Is it true that all the politicians and all the candidates in Wisconsin come and find out what’s going to happen in the election by talking to you?” Card asked. “We heard you are the person to go to.”
“I’ve been pretty lucky, pretty lucky,” said Torcaso, a seventh-generation shoemaker dubbed the “Mayor of 52nd Street.”
Jessica Dorau, a 17-year-old employee of Tenuta’s, shook hands with Bush.
“His hands are very soft,” she said. “He must use some powerful lotion.”
At another campaign stop, as Bush spoke at a park in Racine, Wis., a protester revealed a T-shirt with the word “LIAR” and was escorted from the crowd.
The RNC is expected to further reveal that if Kerry is elected, immediately after his inauguration, all male newborns will be murdered in an effort to control the growth of the republican party.
Bush is certain to publicly wash his incredibly soft hands of the Bible ban propaganda and could not be reached to confirm that he is privately pleased as punch with his campaign chairmans.
Additionally, tomorrow, CBS News is expected to release documented proof that Bush received 4 Purple Hearts, 2 Bronze Stars and an OSCAR during his stint in the Texas National Guard. These documents purportedly reveal that during those many months Bush was unaccounted for, he was secretly serving in the Galactic Star Force’s war against invaders from Mars. Apparently we won!
OK, so I didn’t speak about Satan addressing the DNC fundraiser. It happens so often, I decided it must be old news by now.
More, as it sneaks in…
Posted on 09/25/2004 at 04:27 AM 
Posted on 07/01/2005 at 09:10 AM 
Got that wrong, Brock. Bush is a regular guest on *Satans* fundraisers! You should see him turn on the charm on the sinners.
The old horned one asked him not to bring Cheney and Ashcroft, though, because he’s a little scared of those two.
Ingolfson