The Jehovah’s Witnesses have predicted the end of the world as we know it more than three times, and they’re still going strong, even though we failed to bite it in 1914, 1915, 1918, 1925, 1975, and 1994.  They’ve started to get a bit more vague about the exact date of the world’s end recently, though, so perhaps an old dog can learn new tricks…

Zilch: ... so perhaps an old dog can learn new tricks…

And the Buddha may have said: If you can teach an old dog new tricks he will cease to be an old dog.

Maybe it really did happen, and we all ended up in hell, and just don’t know about it yet.

Whew! I so glad theat they merely had the date wrong.  My worldview might have crumbled if they determined that the scriptural threat had evaporated.  Does the scriptural threat EVER evaporate?

Maybe it really did happen, and we all ended up in hell, and just don’t know about it yet.

Jeff, that reminds me of an old episode of Twilight Zone, where a young punk dies, and is looking forward to Hell, because he’s into devils and pitchforks and such.  However, he ends up in a room with an old couple endlessly showing slides of their vacations, and goes mad.  Turns out, his Hell is the old couple’s Heaven: a captive audience for their slide show.  Very efficient of God.

I love how the bible predicts nuclear weapons exploding in a modern day structure.. bravo mr. bible.

They claim the Bible predicts the very day and place of the first terrorist nuke, but they can’t seem to tell you what that very day and place happens to be.

Duh! The terrorists have their own scripture, so of course the Biblical predictions are off.

How could anyone possibly extract New York from the bible? Even Old York was only founded in 71 CE.

JP: How could anyone possibly extract New York from the bible? Even Old York was only founded in 71 CE.

Get real, mate. Haven’t you caught on to the bullshit yet? ‘They’ have the best interpreters in the ‘bizness’.

Les: They claim the Bible predicts the very day and place of the first terrorist nuke, but they can’t seem to tell you what that very day and place happens to be.

elwed: Duh! The terrorists have their own scripture, so of course the Biblical predictions are off.

No, elwed, there’s a more fundamental reason these predictions are off: quantum-scriptural effects.  You see, there are three data here: what (nuclear explosion), when (June 9/10, 2006) and where (UN plaza, NY).  Only two of these can be known exactly; the third can never be certainly specified.

Obviously, what happened here is that in specifying the date and the place, the event became uncertain.  So while the date (June 9/10) and place (UN plaza, NY) where accurate, the event (nuclear explosion) was slightly off- what actually happened instead was that a taxi driver farted.

Satan might tempt you to doubt the existence of quantum-scriptural effects.  But just look how the other possibilities pan out:
- prediction: nuclear explosion on June 9/10.  Well, somewhere in the Universe there was certainly a nuclear explosion on that date.
- prediction: nuclear explosion in the UN plaza: when the Sun becomes a red giant in a few billion years and swallow the Earth, there’ll be nuclear explosions galore all over, including the UN plaza.

This proves the inerrant truth of quantum-scriptural effects.

Update: as you’ve probably noticed, the deadline has passed and New York is not ionized.  Have the intrepid Bible Decoders finally thrown in the towel and decided that they were, indeed, turkeys of the first water, and become atheists?  Nope, you guessed it- in a daring bid to outdo the Jehovah’s Witnesses and Jeanne Dixon at failed predictions, they’ve once again extended the deadline:

The UN in Midtown Manhattan will be hit by a terrorist nuclear bomb sometime in the Biblical month of Tammuz, i.e. before Sundown Friday July 28th, 2006.

Rotsa ruck, guyz.

Aaaw, thanks for the update, Zilch. I was wonderng whatever happened. I just assumed that NY had disappeared and news services forgot to tell us about it! Or perhaps they disappeared with NY. Hard to say.

Funny how the decoders’ website doesn’t allow for comments . . .

Nah, NYC got nuked just as they predicted, but the gummint can’t admit to yet another intelligence failure, so they had black helicopters fly in spare parts and cutouts that are now moved around by Border Patrol.

Well, if NY got nuked, it wasn’t on Sunday afternoon.  Otherwise my son Adam, who was changing planes there, would probably have mentioned it when I talked with him yesterday.  Or perhaps, since he was on his way to see his girlfriend in Pacifica, he just didn’t notice.