“Frank, I’ve told you before you can’t double-park like this, so I’m writing you up for it.  Next time, just try the parking lot behind the doughnut shop.”

captcha = “lower”

“Whatcha got there, Frank?”

“Nothin’ much.  Just an SUV with expired tags over there and this guy here with a broken headlamp.”

“This is whatcha call yer basic “PMS Parking”.  Let’s get the ticket written up before the owner gets out of the Cold Stone Creamery over there.  Climb up and read me the VIN, Rookie.”

“Hey partner, refresh my memory… what’s the fine for driving under the influence of fellatio?”

("system")

“Pastry my ass, Franklin. That, my boy, was a do-nut. You followin’ me, son?”

mmmmm....dooooooooughnuuuuuut.....mmmmmm

“Well, his wife told him that if he tried to park in that small space she wouldn’t be able to get out of the car.”

“If you think the back of the car looks like shit, you don’t want to see the front!”

We can’t ticket him. It says clearly: Angle Parking Only. We have to ticket everyone else instead.

“It’s those damn hippies, Leo.  I had to write this one up for parking on the damn grass.  The nerve of those idiots.”

I can’t write him a ticket,Frank because the attendant said just shove it anywhere!

“How long do you think this guy was on two wheels before ending up here. GTA: VC gives $2 a foot ya know...”

(Stupid, I know. I’m still trying to figure out how the guy actually got the car in that position!)

Cap: idiot ( really! )

“Looks like someone got all worked up watching a Dukes of Hazard marathon on tv.”

Tell me, Does that look like Jesus to you?

These are pretty good! I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m highly amused.

“Welp, Bob, I guess I owe you that $5. You really DO have psychic powers.”

We’ve got Jenna [Bush] inside; she’s sobering up.  Frank, you gotta call her Dad to get this out of here.

Damn, RDNewman beat me to it…

The Bush Twins on a bender again? Jeez… how are we covering up this one?

“The last thing the driver remembers was jacking a Sharon Stone DVD into the overhead player!”

“Frank, did you just see that?”

“What?”

“That cyclist over there doesn’t have a helmet on!”

“WHAT!? That’s it! Go get the cruiser, he’s goin’ DOWN!”

So the short one gets out and screams at the big guy, “did you bring a F&%@#ing can opener to get me out of that spot?!”
It just went down hill from there.

Officer on the right: “I can’t look. It’s not bad is it?...”

What the officer on the left thinks to himself: “You have to be kidding… not bad?”
What the officer on the left actually says: “Well, I guess it all depends on how you look at it… Why?”

Officer on the right: “Good, because you have to the ass on this girl.”

I’m pretty sure the image is a photochop. The grass isn’t disturbed under the white car’s left tire, and the part where the right tire meets the brown car just doesn’t look right.

That being said…

Right Cop: I’ve got some great news.
Left Cop: It’s not as bad as it looks?
Right Cop: Nah, I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico.

/Got nothin’
Captcha: “husband”

Actually, it does indeed look wrong upon close inspection. Ah well, it’s still a fun pic to come up with captions for.

“The plate’s registered to a “Bond.” “J. Bond."”

“Musical Parking Spaces”

FYI:
In real life though, the car on the right (under) is the one the one who parked last.