It has been estimated that there are approximately 10^79 atoms in the Universe, so your Homeopathic remedy would require many, many more Universes for it to work.

And that my friends is why my remedy is the best one on the market today!

Where can I buy some of that??? My SS # is . . . 

Where can I buy some of that??? My SS # is . . .

Well sir, just for you, this one time only, I will give you a free trial, 30 day money back guaranteed, no risk to you, satisfaction guaranteed or your money back, 100% real trial sample of my miracle cure.  All you have to do is sign a waiver which promises that you will in the future only buy our brand and that you will also work hard to distribute our brand to all your friends!

Here’s how it works (don’t tell anyone else or your contract will be voided and we will have to send the lycanthropic chinchilla brigade to your house to confiscate your birthday):

1. Go get yourself a nice tall drinking glass from your local drinking glass store. Make sure it’s leaded crystal, probably Waterford, but any expensive brand of crystal goblet will work.

2. Purchase a gallon of the purest spring water you can find.  Dump it out on the ground.

3. Go to the nearest drinking fountain, fill the bottle the spring water came in with as much of the water as will fit.

4. Return home, light some candles, put on some music, get some incense burning. Find a nice comfy pillow to sit on, and pour some of the water into the expensive crystal goblet.

5. Drink the water.

6. Get better.

Of course, don’t tell anyone this, or like I said, you might be receiving a visit from a large group of anthropomorphic, infectious South American Rodents that we keep in the basement around the office .

Update: Social services removes remaining three children from praying parent’s home.

They’re living with a relative for the moment, though they could be reunited after the investigation:

Vergin said his agency’s final report will make no recommendations on possible charges against the parents, leaving that up to the district attorney.

“There is no intent. They didn’t want their child to die. They thought what they were doing was the right thing,” he said. “They believed up to the time she stopped breathing she was going to get better. They just thought it was a spiritual attack. They believed if they prayed enough she would get through it.”

Prayer is a piss-poor substitute for proper medical care.

The children are staying with other relatives, though they were not in danger, he said.

“There is no physical evidence of abuse or neglect,” he said.

As long as the other kids don’t have any potentially fatal, but curable or treatable diseases that the parents neglect to have treated by somebody qualified.

As an acquaintance of mine was fond of saying: criminalize stupidity.

“There is no intent. They didn’t want their child to die. They thought what they were doing was the right thing,” he said. “They believed up to the time she stopped breathing she was going to get better. They just thought it was a spiritual attack. They believed if they prayed enough she would get through it.”

So, according to the chicken shit or completely idiotic Social Services worker, it doesn’t matter if they were doing the right thing, just that they thought they were doing the right thing.  I wonder how this would work if I for example thought robbing banks was the right thing.  Would the law allow me to get away with bank robbing because I thought it was right (even though it clearly isn’t)? Of course not.

I realize the Social Services worker doesn’t deal directly with the law, but I am completely sick of the idea that religious belief deserves some special dispensation in relation to everything else. The parents might have been doing what they thought was right, but personal belief and ignorance are no excuse in the eyes of the law.  They should have their children removed from their care, and be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.  At the very least they are guilty of severe neglect, at the most, murder.

I guess another way to look at it would be, if they simply did not feed the girl and she died of starvation, would anyone think they were not guilty of killing their child if they then claimed that god told them to not feed her? Only the most crazy shits would say that case was OK. I fail to see how medical treatment in this day and age should be any different.

“There is no intent. They didn’t want their child to die.

With slight modifications: They didn’t want their child to die a spiritual death, which EVERYBODY KNOWS is much worse than a physical death. Besides, most religions believe children return directly to heaven when they die because they haven’t been tainted by society, yet. Of course, there is no verifiable proof that heaven exists, nor that children or anyone else goes there. And if some of the zealots I’ve seen ARE going there, I know I don’t want to associate with them, so please send me to the alternative location, thank you.

And another case in Oregon:

Faith healing church parents charged over toddler’s death

Two followers of a fundamentalist Christian church that favours faith healing over conventional medicine are to be prosecuted for manslaughter after their daughter died of a treatable infection.

Carl and Raylene Worthington were indicted by a grand jury in Oregon’s Clackamas county following the death of their 15-month-old daughter Ava in March.

The toddler died of bronchial pneumonia and a blood infection, according to the state medical examiner’s office - both conditions that could have been treated with antibiotics.

The parents, who surrendered to police on Friday, are members of the Followers of Christ, a fundamentalist church in Oregon with about 1,500 members. They were released on $250,000 (£126,000) bail.

And now for what little good news there is:

The church was at the centre of controversy in the 1990s after the deaths of several children attracted the attention of the authorities. It led to the passage of legislation in Oregon that repealed the right to a religious beliefs defence in cases of manslaughter, homicide and child abuse.

Too bad that the price of admission to the state pen is so steep.

Daylight Atheism: No Religious Exemptions from Child Abuse Laws

In 1944, in Prince v. Massachusetts, the U.S. Supreme Court handed down a cogent ruling: “Parents may be free to become martyrs themselves. But it does not follow they are free, in identical circumstances, to make martyrs of their children”. This is solid reasoning that strikes a just balance between religious freedom and the state’s legitimate right to protect the health and safety of its citizens. Adults of sound mind may reject medical treatment for themselves, if they wish, but they may not make the same decision on behalf of their children before their children are mature enough to endorse it. This way, children have a chance to grow up to reject their parents’ beliefs, if they so choose.

Sadly, this good reasoning has not been more widely adopted. In all but five states, parents who let their children die from treatable illness can invoke religious beliefs as a defense against charges of neglect or child abuse. This is a shameful and unconscionable state of affairs. Neglect is neglect, regardless of the motivations behind it. Not only is this an example of the special rights given to theists - there is no comparable exemption for non-believers, needless to say - it puts every child in those states at risk of suffering an agonizing death because of the superstitious ignorance of their parents.

the good part is that the christian scientists rate of attrition is pretty high.  in a couple of generations they’ll have “prayed” themselves to extinction. just like the shakers.

in a couple of generations they’ll have “prayed” themselves to extinction.

Not going to happen if their birthrate is high enough.

Not going to happen if their birthrate is high enough.

You’re assuming the kids are going to follow in mommy and daddy’s footsteps. Not really a constant in many religious families.

Good point. I should have investigated the demographics of Christian Scientists (it pains me to type this oxymoron) first. Perhaps they survive by recruiting outsiders rather than breeding.

Just an update: WESTON, Wis.(AP) A Wisconsin prosecutor says she plans to file charges against parents who prayed while their 11-year-old daughter died of untreated diabetes.

Marathon County District Attorney Jill Falstad says Dale and Leilani Neumann are being charged with reckless homicide in the Easter Sunday death of their daughter Madeline.

Falstad said at a news conference Monday that the parents’ failure to get medical care for their daughter created an unreasonable risk of death or great harm.

Leilani Neumann has said the family believes that healing comes from God.
You can’t make this stuff up!