...or my own personal death-ray. What the hell is up with that? Com’on, folks! Didn’t you people watch all those old newsreels from the 1950’s about what life was going to be like in the year 2000? OK, perhaps there weren’t any explicit promises of death-rays in them, but I distinctly remember flying cars zipping all over the place and a totally self-cleaning one-button-push fully automated kitchen and I wasn’t even born when those newsreels were produced. We’re now halfway into the first decade of the 21st Century and the best we’ve been able to manage so far is the Roomba Vacuum which is only of use to people who tend to lead very clean lives already. I don’t think a Roomba would last a week in my little apartment. It would choke to death on socks left on the living room floor within a day or so and there’s no way in hell that little thing is going to be able to move the couch out so it can get to all the popcorn that got dropped down between the cushions during the incredible battle scenes of the extended DVD version of LoTR: TRotK. Let’s face it, the Roomba wasn’t meant for use by real families like mine. What we need is Rosie from The Jetsons.
Anyway, the point is that you inventor-types have had over half a century now to fulfill those promises of old and so far you’re not doing too well. To be fair you guys did manage to at least get us those personal communicators like what we saw in Star Trek, but we had no idea just how friggin’ annoying those damned things would be once everyone and his cousin’s dog had one and insisted on speaking into them at volume levels that would make you think Scotty had a hearing problem. I’ve gotta admit that they do look pretty cool though and they’re still the only thing that comes close to the promise of a videophone you guys made way back when. Still, I’ve been looking forward to having my own flying car ever since I stumbled across those old newsreels as a little kid so let’s get with it and hurry up on that one a bit, OK? I’m ready for it. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t had enough practice with some of the video games I play. At the very least you should be able to get that kitchen thing working, right? I’d probably buy that before the flying car anyway.
Les, stand on the corner of a 4-way-stop and watch typical drivers try to apply the extremely simple rules: “First to stop is first to go. If two cars stop at the same time, the one on the right goes first.”
Then ask yourself: do you want any of those nimrods behind the wheel of a flying car? Speaking as a total nimrod myself, of course.