Outraged parent Mamie Sonnier. She knows what it's going to end up coming to.

Palm scanners have Louisiana religious nuts all upset.

The folks at Moss Bluff Elementary School in Louisiana are implementing a new high-tech method for kids to pay for school lunches and some Christians there are seriously not happy about it. The new palm scanning system uses an infrared light to scan the unique pattern of veins in the kid’s hands to ID them and automatically charges their account. This allows the kids to move through the line more quickly and with fewer billing mistakes.

Outraged parent Mamie Sonnier. She knows what it’s going to end up coming to.

Cue the religious nutcases who articulate their opposition in almost literate fashion:

While the letter notes that parents can opt their children out of the program, parent Mamie Sonnier told KPLC-TV that she was angry and disappointed by the program, as the scanner violates her beliefs. She contends that if the scanners actually make it to the school cafeteria, she’ll be transferring her kids to another school.

“As a Christian, I’ve read the Bible, you know go to church and stuff,” Sonnier said. “I know where it’s going to end up coming to, the mark of the beast. I’m not going to let my kids have that.”

I had to boldface that part of the sentence because it really brings home the education level of the people we’re dealing with here.

I was once a Baptist and I can remember being told that in the final days when the Antichrist had taken over the world that everyone who was left would have to accept the mark of the beast to be able to do much of anything like buy food, pay rent, etc.. That said, I’m not sure how she figures this is the mark of the beast. This thing doesn’t tattoo you or imprint anything on you, it just reads the patterns of the blood vessels in your hand. It’s not reading anything that isn’t already there. Plus, as near as I can tell, the Antichrist hasn’t shown up yet, Tea Party member’s insistence that it’s Obama not withstanding.

Though I suppose if you believe in all-powerful entities living in the sky that demand you spend a good portion of your time telling them how awesome they are that it’s probably not too much of a stretch to see the mark of the beast in time-saving and error reducing technological systems.

4 comments

  1. You only had to mention that this was in Louisiana. Isn’t this the state that allows the very same schools to teach that dinosaurs and dragons walked with man now, and that evolution is only a theory and possibly a myth?

  2. I have a problem with it too: do I have to touch a glass plate that every other kid in school has touched, then go directly to eating my lunch? Bleah! Of course if the system is touchless, then this is not a problem.

  3. 1. The Tea Party is the antichrist.

    2. Yeah, I love how they think our system of veins and arteries might somehow be related to the Mark of the Beast. It’s that Darwin stuff again: Somehow the evil Charles Darwin has modified our very genetic makeup to his evil, Beastly ends! Before Charles Darwin, this never could have occurred.

    3. Tell each complaining parent that it’s no big deal — their children were already replaced with pods in first grade. So it’s not like their real kids are being threatened. Only the alien, pod-children can use the system . . .

    4. Or, alternatively, tell them that this is the system required under Romney-Ryan budgets. It saves enough money to keep the free lunch program going, and the school is making the switchover early in order to stand with their new Republicanlizard overlords.

  4. You “Last Men” can laugh at the “hick” Louisana Christians all you want, but their instincts are sounder than yours.

    How on earth can you be so casual about a biologically-based billing system. And you are willing to do this so you can save a few extra seconds waiting in line?

    You are slaves down to your bones, but not them.

    Even if they are not as well-read or educated, they are far more free than you pampered slaves/pets of capitalism.

    They are right about their guns, too.

    I’d rather be a free mutt with a short life, than a pampered house cat who lives longer but under his master’s control. But that’s just me, I suppose.

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