Apparently Heaven must be boring as Jesus has grabbed his mother and moved into the lava lamp of John Smith of Sydney, Australia. Naturally Mr. Smith is billing this as some sort of miracle:
“This happened about a year ago and I have kept the lamp hidden since. I now want the world to know of its existence.”
Mr Smith waxes lyrical about the lamp and its effects on the website, which only had 251 visitors yesterday, and says it has helped him with job offers, money and even in finding a partner.
“I had been going through a tough time and was paying for a sign … a divine sign from God that I was not alone and that all would work out fine,” he explains on the website.
“I turned on my brand new lava lamp and watched in awe as the unmistakeable image of the Holy Mary cradling the Baby Jesus appeared.”
The image took his breath away.
“I immediately turned off the lamp and the lava has remained in this position ever since.”
You can click the above image for a slightly bigger one, but I’ll tell you right now my first thought when I saw it was that it looked like a medical picture of someone having a stroke. Probably Mr. Smith, but he swears it’s brought him nothing but blessings from Heaven ever since:
“Only a couple of weeks after Holy Mary appeared to me in the lava lamp every facet of my life began to miraculously transform,” he said.
“I met the most incredible woman, my angel here on earth.”
Mr Smith believes there is no doubt that the lava lamp led him to his soul mate who had been praying for a miracle herself on the other side of Sydney.
“Since then we have gotten engaged, phenomenal job offers have come flooding in, money keeps presenting itself and we are blessed by the warmth and love of angels constantly protecting and guiding us.”
He goes on to report his hemorrhoids are in remission and his teeth are suddenly sparkling white! All thanks to a lump of semi-congealed combo of wax and carbon tetrachloride. I’m sure the folks who make lava lamps will be quite pleased with this development as it presents an awesome marketing opportunity: LAVA LAMPS! NOW WITH 100% MORE JESUS IN THEM!