What are your feelings on the issue? What evidence supports your belief, thoughts, ideas etc? Why did you come about with those feelings, beliefs, thoughts, etc? What do you feel or think about gay rights in terms of marriage, tax status, etc? Have you ever met a gay person or know one personally? What were they like? Have you ever been approached by someone that is gay? What was your reaction etc?
If you don’t want to answer the more personal questions feel free not to. Just some ideas to get the blood flowing to the fingers…
[Editor’s Note: I’ve made a new Sexuality category seeing as the topic seems to come up regularly and none of the other categories were a good fit.]
When my uncle told me he was gay, I didn’t care, either. He is the only father I have ever known, and that was much more important to me.
I would want my kids to tell me, but only so I can be there for them when these idiots of the world tell them they are sinful and bad, and I can tell them that yes, there are bad people, but not them.
The reaction of most parents is at least not toxic to the relationship and frequently eventually becomes acceptance.
I know of a few guys whose parents reacted very badly when they found out. I have absolutely no sympathy toward those parents who throw away their relationship with their son because he is gay. In those cases where the reaction is bad, after the first reactions calm down, the relationship either becomes some sort of détente or the parents estrange their child.
One of the guys I know whose parents reacted badly was a minor when his parents found out. His parents put him into christian based reparative therapy about 30 years ago, and he still has deep self hatred and self destructive problems because of it. Parents who put their children into reparative therapy should be prosecuted and imprisoned for child abuse.
I AGREE!!!
It might make a lot of sense for people to figure on basically ignoring their parents’ initial reaction (unless it is positive) because they have had a lifetime of conditioning.
Of course, if they pack you off to a “De-Gayification camp” all bets are off but otherwise consider giving them time to adjust and space to figure things out. Many parents react badly at first, then end up as proud members of PFLAG.
Of course I would care if one of my kids told me he was gay – I care about anything that’s important to my kids and in this society, it means they would face a lot of prejudice. In that respect it is not a positive thing – so for what it’s worth, they could always count on at least being able to come sit at my table and be accepted.
Parents need to be sensitive to what is going on their kid’s lives and try to reassure them.
If a 17 year old son is not dating girls, I would consider that to be a clue. If he is going out only with other boys, especially one at a time, I would consider that to be another clue. Another clue would be what music, concerts or other shows he goes to. The tricky part is deciding what to do with those clues. If a kid is not hiding the fact that he is gay and has to ask himself “Does Dad care if I am gay?, something is wrong.
I will catch up again tomorrow.
You guys have a good one.
I am so glad I found this site!
I know what you are saying, but I wouldn’t look at it that way. There are many grops of people that experience prejudice for many reaons. The religious right has a hardon for gays, but society on the whole is slowly becoming more gay friendly. Economically, gays are doing better, corporations are becomeing more gay friendly. I think that traditional corporate loving Republicans are actually gay friendly – it’s the christians that have fucked up the GOP. By the time the kid is in his mid to late teens he should already know about prejudice against gays. I would be more concerned that he was aware of safe sex practices; a birds and bees talk, just different.
Dude, Gay! G A Y and an ATHEIST! A T H E I S T
I might as well be a nudist too so I can push even more people’s buttons.
Wouldn’t someone find that depressing?
When I told my family, I chose the divide and conquer option. I confided in one sister; she was cool and kept my secret. Eventually I told another sister and naively expected the same treatment. She told my dad who I knew even then I would never tell. That was awkward!
I respect other’s rights to reveal only what they’re comfortable revealing unless they’re working against our best interests. Some relationships can only exist under certain terms.
I sed to be like this too, but eventually, I came to realize that flamboyant men made me uncomfortable because I was afraid people would think I was like them.
Now I love flambouyant guys. Not if it’s put-on, mind you, but if it’s just a natural part of whot hey are, and they are generally likeable people, then, what does it matter if they’re flambyant/effeminate? That said, I am not attracted to flamboyant guys for dating purposes, but they can be really fun to have as friends. Lighten up! Enjoy!
Same as my feelings about heterosexuality or anyother form of sexuality. If it rocks you, then go with it.
No evidence needed, it’s my opinion, and it’s just as valid or invalid as anyone elses.
Probably because some of my family members are gay as well as some of my closest friends.
I believe every citizen deserves equal treatment under the law. Your rights, privileges, and responsibilities are not dependent on your sexual preferences any more than they are on your preference for color, or your favorite sports team. Not only is it stupid to think so, it’s decidedly un-American.
Yup – my older brother, my sister in law, and several very close friends. They were like everyone else, except they tend to get beat up more by intolerant homophobes.
Nope – most gay people I know are aware that I’m straight and have never made a move like that. They tend to not be offended by my heterosexuality. They know there’s nothing I did to choose this lifestyle, and they’re tolerant of my choice in sexual partners. I just wish the rest of you could understand that and let me be myself without making me jump through some half-baked religious hoops that you’ve concockted to justify your own sense of sexual dysphoria.
I’ve been looking at that sentence for what seems like five minutes.
If I comment on it I might be able to go to another page.
But I can’t think of a damned thing to say.
Reality doth suck sometimes.
I’m gay, I’ve been an atheist for as long as I can remember, and although I am not a nudist per se, I never miss an opportunity to be nude. I had a very rough time transitioning from being a gay in denial with two kids and a wife to a relatively well adjusted gay man with 2 kids, a partner, and an ex-wife; and I am very pissed off at the bigotry of one half of American society, but I am not depressed.
I ENJOY pushing the buttons of one half of American society. I just ordered a new t-shirt; it is blood red, has a graphic of a wire shirt hanger, and has text that says “Plan C”—it ought to push a few buttons.
I think it’s really important for parents to be aware of the possibility that any of their kids could turn out to be gay, and to raise them to be okay with themselves if they are. My boyfriend’s older brother is also gay, but unlike my boyfriend, he’s all fucked up about it. The family is totally supportive and accepting, but he’s never been able to get over his own self-hatred. He’s significantly older than my boyfriend, and I can’t help but wonder if the reason my bf’s outlook is different has to do with the fact that he didn’t have to spend his entire adolesence wondering how his family would react to his sexuality. That’s not to blame my bf’s parents, but I’m sure they wish they had figured it out in time to do everything they could to make sure that their eldest son didn’t become the miserably unhappy person he is today.
Where did you get that shirt from?! That is way too cool!
Thanks man – I know what you mean. That’s where Scotch comes in handy
Warning! This site is pretty offensive and may not be suitable for display at work: http://www.tshirthell.com.
fuck homophobes. if you’re that afraid of gay people, you must be gay yourself and embarrassed about it.
who gives a damn if to homosexuals get married? it doesn’t affect you or me. if people are so worried about the sanctity of marriage and family, then they would be more worried about divorce than gay marriage. it seems like these people who speak out against it have more of a motive than that……and that’s called prejudice.
Ya know, there is one point in the bible where it condones lesbian relationships.
Also, and I am a dyke currently working for a church organisation with lots of different facets of christianity working together (i believe it’s currently thirteen denominations) and all my co-workers are christians or the like. I was discussing this with them offhand, because that’s the kinda freak I am, and a quaker pointed out the lesbian condone bit. Ruth and Susan, i think he said. Also, we were all discussing the passages saying homos are sinfu(i believe it’s currently thirteen denominations)(i believe it’s currently thirteen denominations)l. In fact, EVERY SINGLE CHRISTIAN IN THE ROOM agreed that the passages are not saying the act of sodomy is sinful, but that homosexual intercourse is sinful when it is merely lust rather than love.
That was a pretty pointless post, but there was originally a point to it. Perhaps someone less sleepy can discern it? X3
Where exactly?
From Sexual orientation is not a choice.
I haven’t checked to see if the passages are relevant to the question.
LJ, I just did a quick read through on that link. Same misguided references regarding Bailey & Pillard:
That is wrong. Bailey himself says as much in his more recent research.
I don’t know if such shameful references, as the one found in your link, are done with knowledge that the reference to B & P is wrong or if those making such references are just woefully ignorant of body of work that comprises twin studies and homosexuality. For a thorough understanding of what the twin studies do show, go here.
Should it have been “not substantially genetic” or should the mention of genetics be completely removed from current assumptions?
AND, for just fucking once can you please tell me (and other semi-interested observers) … is it your contention that ‘becoming’ a poofter is a conscious (or otherwise) choice or not?
A simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ will do. Actually that wouldn’t work – I’d have to know what you were saying yes or no to, wouldn’t I?
It becomes hard to ‘discuss’ the issue with you if I can only assume your views are completely based in the religion you say you’re not a conscious adherent to.
AND, no I’m not expecting an answer.
See the link for what may be drawn from twin studies. It has been fully discussed in that thread.
I wouldn’t assume then. Prevents you from making an ass out of u and me.
I thought of replying with the simple, easy: Aw fuck off, Consi, ya cunt … but that was a little crass and common and definitely not in keeping with my intellectual capabilities and normally high standards of attempted repartee … so I thought, fuck it, I’ll just say …
Nothing!
As for the “See the link blah blah blah. It has been blah blah blah.”
SNAFU. I coulda made money offa that one.
I’m with you on Consi, LJ.
Even if being gay is a choice, so is voting Republican. I find Neo-cons philosophy repulsive- should they be reviled and denied equal rights? Apart from your moral code Consi, why do you not like gays? What do you base your moral code on?
LH, I gotta jump to Consi’s defence.
He does not dislike gays – he has a good friend who’s one.
THAT! is what makes his attitude t’ward gays so mysterious.
Obviously Consi has been able to rationalise his (to my mind opposing and therefore illogical) viewpoints.
I think he’s also someone who opposes poofter-bashing and killing.
So he’s not as bad as a jesus-loving fundie, eh?
I gotta admit – I don’t even have a working hypothesis that explains Consi.
I couldn’t find the thread I wanted because the view the most commented thread thing doesn’t work for me for some reason. So I’m placing this here.
Interesting, especially the liberal Democrat part. Sounds like the book is worth a read. Apparently, he has combed through some information:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-03-13-blankenhorn-fatherhood_N.htm?csp=34
As an additional note, I have heard here and elsewhere that we, the U.S., should be taking a page from Europe on same-sex marriage. I happened upon this: French High Court Rejects Gay marriage
My question is if we are to look to other countries, specifically Europe, which countries should we be looking to? It seems that such advice works only if one gets to pick and choose only those countries that merit consideration.
We could look to countries that have functional gay marriage, and see how it works there.
Geez, Consi – give it a rest, already.
Next you will be stretching the gay marriage push to gays being anti hetero marriage.
I’m waiting for you to blame the rate of hetero marriage breakdowns directly onto those evil gay bastards.
Much like the number of countries your delusional leader was able to go start a silly war with.
It seems y’all can lead the world when you think it’s in the interests of Big Oil.
And without knowing which countries they are, I’ll bet their crime rates are lower, their murder rate is lower, they probably have a health system which benefits all, unconditionally … and what else?
Oh yeah. I’ll bet they have a lower invisible man delusion rate.
Lower than whom?
Why, the US of course; the world’s citadel of morality … and crime.