Hey all y’all peeps out there in cyberland! I wuz wunderin if all them thar new jobs that Dick is talking bout are gunna be as a, uh, er INDEPENDENT BUSINESS OWNER, or something like that. My aunt Peggy Sue said that if she dint have to keep on buyin all her own Amway stuff just to keep up her numbers, and buy all them thar tapes and books and pay to go to them siminars, she’d have gone DIAMOND a heck of a LONG TIME AGO! Her dream stealing hubby Dave left her because she sold the trailer and his favorite pair of boots to git more of them books and tapes. So if you see Peggy Sue, kindly buy a 5-gallon pail uh soap from her or better yet, sign up and you too can have a shot at the AMERICAN DREAM! How can ya build a business if ya don’t listen to them tapes? Some people’s chillin, I tell you no lie, I’d like to… Ah, well, Dave wasn’t the brightest bug in the bug zapper, if ya’ll git my meenin.

GOD BLESS YOU DICK! GOD BLESS AMERICA! GOD BLESS AMWAY! GOD BLESS GEORGE W!
And GOD BLESS all y’all hard working IBO’s out there! Don’t let ‘em kill yer dream now, ya hear?
Ah, heck. I feel so PATRIOTIC I’m gonna return all my bottles and git me down to an AMWAY meeting!

But I gots to go now. I gotta scare all them thar niggers outta my pumpkin patch agin!

Sinseerly yours,
Billy Bob.

VOTE FOR DICK! He’s GOD’s messinger, that’s what ma mamma told me!

CyberSitter blocks … and my site

Probably because they can’t spell oral sex either.

Must have been a hanging chad…

Zilch, if you keep using language like this, SEB won’t be fit for children anymore.

By the way, apparently CyberSitter blocks SEB and my site

Brandi and Nicole may have been one and the same.

I don’t think so, Les.  Close textual analysis reveals significant dissimilarities in their posts.  Brandy had seven spelling errors, two grammatical errors, and at least one sentence that made no logical sense.  Nicole’s post was 100% accurate, if a bit overenthusiastic.  But that’s excusable, given the subject matter (her impending marriage).

Conclusion: Brandy and Nicole, while they may have been using the same computer, are not the same person, and probably not identical twins or even siblings.  Confidence factor: 95%.

Speaking of human fallibility:  yipes.  I just realized that I misspelled “Laphroaig” as “Laphroiag”.  Must have been a hanging chad…

Brandi and Nicole may have been one and the same. They both posted from the same IP address, but it could have just been two idiots sharing the same library computer.

And the all knowing and powerful Jenkins has not yet given word to build such device

Though personal donations will be accepted by the Lord High Arch Pope. Or a new fridge. Or a tyre for front near side RH drive 97 Mondeo. Or any of the following wargames armies.
10mm ECW, 10mm ACW, 25mm Napoleonic, 10mm Ancient Greek.  1:300 1980’s Soviet is also considered holy.

Blessings on Brother Zilch for reminding my Holiness of the bottle of Celtic Holy Water I has in the dining room side board.  Its the weekend

Brandi… as summoned by the high Pope himself and given out by the Knight Deacon of the Censure Censor you are to learn how to use a word processor to check spelling and grammatical errors of typed documents.  The Knight Deacon would buy a book, but he understands how money is easily wasted on non believers of the one true mighty God – Jenkins.

Plus the Knight Deacon is kinda poor and understands that money funnels into religions through a powerful intermediary called a Church.  And the all knowing and powerful Jenkins has not yet given word to build such device.

PS Nicole- I assume we are all invited. I like a good fruity Red wine with my food.

I do too, Nicole, and perhaps a shot of Laphroiag after the Linzertorte…

Which means we can finally teach the truth.

Webs, you are in danger of being excommunicated for spreading false false gods. It’s bad enough Christians doing it with their false false God. Please stick to the one true false God.
Frankly the only reason I haven’t defrocked you already is I need to say the following

Brother Webs- apply the Censor of Censure to Brandi. And buy her a book on grammar and spelling.

Love and Beards
Your Pope

PS Nicole- I assume we are all invited. I like a good fruity Red wine with my food. I’ll do the ceremony and you can be married as a Jenkian by a Pope.

Zilch, thank you for pointing out that Brandy’s right to get an education has been violated.

Why don’t we fund schools to a degree so that all kids can get a grip on grammar, spelling, math, critical thinking, and problem solving skills and postpone the IDolatry debate until then?