Man, I forget to read his blog for a little while and the next thing you know the guy is using his real name to release a bone fide CD of music as if he’s an actual singer or some hot shit thing like that. A CD you can actually pay money for to buy for real with actual music and lyrics and stuff. Like Prince, only not as purple. You just know he’s going to get a big head about it all too:
Now, you might think that someone who shared a home town with Stephen King for so many years might be tempted to write songs about vampires and undead cats. But I leave that sort of thing to Jewel. My songs are more akin to those paintings that you see where the artist picks up a pail of whatever’s handy and throws it at the wall. There are some pretty nifty patterns that show up when you chuck a bucket and see what sticks. I set my bucket chucking to music is all.
Oh that’s just great. He’s a bucket chucker now and he wants to upchuck all over your CD player, and he expects you to pay for it no less! I bet he gives up his blog just because he’s spending all his damned time fending off young, nubile groupies now. I think he just did it because he wanted to be able to sick the RIAA on people at random. Fame claims another semi-hilarious blogger.
*Seriously though, big time congrats dude! Don’t forget us little people once you’re all rich and famous like.
Apparently, my legion of fans has shut down the cdbaby web site. Mwahahaha! Beware the bloggers!!
Of course, I can’t get rich and famous without the rich part…and that’s kinda hard if no one can buy the fricking thing!!
Is that the green eyed monster making an appearance Les?
Moi? Jealous? Well, hell yeah.
I’m big enough to admit that I’d love to be able to play the guitar (or any other instrument) and carry a tune without hurting my back. Let alone come up with a coherent song that wouldn’t be confused for cats mating in a meat grinder.
But in this case Solonor and I have a habit of pretend-fighting so I had to make it sound like I wasn’t happy he’s gone big time on us when, secretly, I’m hoping to ride on his coattails and become a member of his “entourage.” I’m big and ugly and can growl “HE SAID NO AUTOGRAPHS” in a very menacing manner.
Dude, you are so going to be the chief bodyguard on my first world tour.