The latest Bits And Pieces catalog arrived yesterday and with it came a new level in tacky Christmas decorations: The Fiber Optic Nativity Scene.
Light up your holiday decor and display the miracle of Christmas in this exquisitely crafted poly resin, fiber optic creche. This beautiful Nativity contains transparent fibers that continually change through a rainbow of colors. Lights surround the wooden stable, golden halos on Mary and Joseph and the crib of the Christ child. Inside the stable, a soft red light illuminates the scene.
Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s I can remember when fiber optic lamps became all the rage and I thought they were pretty cheesy then. With the passing of the years combined with new techniques of integrating fiber optics into an object, my opinion has remained unchanged. If anything I’m just amazed at how fiber optics can take an object of questionable taste in the first place and move it firmly into the realm of undeniable kitsch, but I never thought the purveyors of these products would go as far as to apply their craft to one of the major symbols of Christianity. I literally laughed out loud when I saw this.
Though in all fairness I must confess that this same catalog had at least one fiber optic product that I actually thought looked OK from the picture of it and it was one of the Christmas trees. They don’t have the exact model I saw on their website yet, but it was a combination of cheesy fiber optics and pre-strung miniature lights that actually didn’t cause my gag reflex to kick in. This is quite the feat considering that I despise most of the fiber optic Christmas trees I’ve seen. In fact, I think this is the first fiber optic object of any kind that I didn’t want to douse in gasoline and set fire to.
Still, that creche is hilarious!
There is, indeed, no accounting for tastes. At least I hope there isn’t, because otherwise there are some folks who are going to be taken to account …
Next up, the Jesus Lava Lamp: “Watch as the irridescent and undefinable Spirit of Our Lord descends slowly down to the Earth … then, His mission over, ascends back to the heavens … in a never-ending cycle of salvation that will make a glow in your heart as great as the glow from the 25w light bulb in its base (light bulb not included) …”
There’s a Flaming Lips song about a Fiberoptic Jesus that the lead singer got from Jack White. Funny stuff…
I’m atheist. And do not regret.