Conversations with a dumbass.

I write a fair amount about various Craptastic ProductsTM that people of questionable ethics (or sanity) attempt to foist off on the general public as legitimate items worthy of the ridiculously high price tag they carry. Things like that stupid Q-Ray bracelet and the equally ridiculous Philip Stein Teslar Watch and these entries often become pretty highly ranked on Google. As a result those entries get a lot of visitors looking for information and invariably this means that someone who’s a fan of one of these Craptastic ProductsTM will show up sooner or later and attempt to defend said product. Usually they do it in the comments, but sometimes they send me an email. Over the last day or two I’ve had the unique pleasure of receiving just such an email from one Preston Craven who took me to task for my criticism of the aforementioned watch that supposedly cancels out harmful EMF radiation from cell phones and the like. His emails, which I will reproduce below, are typical of many that I get on a semi-regular basis. Often they’re amusing. Especially when, as in Preston’s case, they make grandiose claims of “majoring in theoretical mathematics and physics” and yet they can’t manage simple punctuation, decent spelling or proper word spacing in their emails.

Here is the first email along with my response:

> while i am sure that u have read ad nausium about the
> teslar watch, i doubt very seriusly that you
> understand it!

Now there’s a claim I keep hearing over and over again on everything from this stupid watch to the nature of UFOs and how John Edward manages to talk to dead people. OK, I’m game. Enlighten me.

> it works on refined theories of quantum
> subtructures and physics…wich i doubt,very much that
> you can comprehend.

You’d be surprised at what I can comprehend. More than the average person, that’s for sure. My IQ of 135 should be good for something, but then claims like the above are common from people who wish to peddle their craptastic products as legitimate and worthwhile investments.

> if you had bothered to read the
> proof that NASA has gathered you may be
> convinced,watchout though,it is not lite reading!

I have yet to find any proof from NASA in regards to the Teslar watch. There’s nothing in the way of comments or proof on the Phillip Stein Teslar Watch website and there’s nothing I can locate at the official NASA website on teslar watches either. I notice you didn’t provide any links to purported proof from NASA either. Supposedly you’ve seen said proof so it shouldn’t be difficult to provide it.

> the
> teslar watch is an earth frequency generator that was
> originally designed to assist astronauts with space
> sickness,and it is proven to work, quite well!the EFG
> works by simulating the harmonic resonance feild of
> the earth, but you would not know anything about that
> would you…

Considering the only mention I can find of concepts such as an “earth frequency generator” or the “harmonic resonance field of the earth” is on “alternative” medicine websites and I can find no mention of such a things in any academic journals let alone anywhere on NASA’s webpage then I’d have to agree with you and say, yes, I wouldn’t know anything about those things as there doesn’t seem to be any scientific data on either of them.

> you sound like someone who has a grudge
> with the world,

Why? Because I don’t buy into bullshit products and I get angry when con-men try to pass them off as legit? I don’t have a grudge with the world, just a select few people within it.

> you DON’T understand the physics
> behind how the watch works,if you did, you would not
> be skeptical and understand that the watch is not
> bullshit.

Common claim and a really bad logical argument. I’m skeptical and think it’s bullshit precisely because I do have a good grasp of physics. I’d be more inclined to believe in it the less I understood. But if you can prove otherwise, feel free.

> in fact…i will admit that i felt the same
> way…at first. the doctor that i work for asked me to
> help her understand the finer points of how the watch
> worked, i am majoring in theoretical mathematics and
> physics, so i translated, at first i thought it was
> bullshit, until i read on,and on, and on. no offense,
> but there is no way the layman could possibly
> understand the vast theories on scalar quantities,
> anyway even after reading all the equations and
> crunching all the numbers, i was more convinced…

You’re majoring in theoretical mathematics and physics? At which University? It’s clear you’re not majoring in English or Communications based on this email. It’s great that you crunched all the numbers, surely you saved that data in some form of report so you could show it to doubters such as myself, yes? Or did you let all that effort studying and working the numbers go to waste? Anecdotes are nice and all, but they tend to be tremendously unreliable.

> but
> i am a show me kinda guy, so the doc made a deal with
> me,” wear it for a week, then say its malarky” so i
> took her up on it, i have not taken the watch off
> since!

And I should accept your judgment on the matter because… why exactly? Some yahoo sends me an email out of the blue claiming to have done all the work to prove this silly watch actually does what its makers claim despite being based on “pretend physics” and I’m just supposed to accept at face value that you’re the expert at theoretical mathematics and physics you claim to be and change my tune? I’d be happy to take a look at your research and all the effort you’ve put into this little venture, I’d be happy to consider reading any papers you can send me a link to that have been published by respected science journals or organizations, but I won’t just take your word for it no matter how many times you insult me.

> the watch works by augmenting the human
> electrical feild,you can actually see kirlian photos
> of this process taking place! photos taken by NASA’s
> finest!

Blah blah blah blah blah. Heard all this crap before. Kirlian photos aren’t much more than a cute parlor trick, scientifically speaking. Surely you can do better than that. If this shit is supposed to be so hard to understand then how is a simple trick like a Kirlian photo supposed to be convincing?

> you can argue all you want and i know that
> noone could ever convince you otherwise, but you are
> wrong, though i dont think you are the kind of man who
> could admit that.

Well I’m certainly not going to admit I’m wrong on the basis of the flimsy argument you’ve made in this email. You haven’t said anything I’ve not heard before, you’ve offered no outside data to verify your claims, you keep making reference to NASA without providing any proof and so on and so on. If you honestly don’t think anyone could ever convince me otherwise then why are you bothering to try? That’s pretty fucking stupid if you ask me. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one here? As for admitting I can be wrong, all I can say is my website is full of examples of me admitting I was wrong about something. Guess you don’t know me as well as you think you do.

> i suggest that you visit ELF
> labratories and look up a noted scientist who dveloped
> the real scalar watch, this stein watch is nothing
> more than a cheaper built more coslty version of the
> real thing!

ELF Laboratories as in the folks who produce the Light Beam Generator? Oh please. Don’t make me laugh.

> like i said, the scalar watch is a proven
> peice of technology whose healing benifits were
> discovered quite by accident, it involved a prototype of the power core being set down near a petrie dish of
> cultured lymphocytes,anyway,

I’ve yet to see any proof of its validity and you’ve not provided anything new in this email that would give me any reason to suspect any such proof exists.

> if you would take the
> time to look into it, i am sure you would see that
> energy medicine is the way of the future, however,
> people always attack what they do not understand, and
> you do not understand the process of how the scalar
> watch works,

Again, a common claim from those who would peddle their bullshit as being valid science. If I don’t understand something I’ll look into it before offering an opinion. I try my hardest not to attack things which I have little to no knowledge about, that’s not my style. I’m firmly of the belief that there’s a big difference between an opinion and an informed opinion. Try offering some proof instead of claiming to know what I do and don’t understand and then perhaps you’ll change my mind.

> let me rephrase that, you amy be right
> about this stein watch, but as far as the real
> thing”wich might i add that the real scalar watch does
> not cost anywere in the ballpark of what the stein
> watch costs” it works.

Sure thing, pal. I bet you’ve got your own pet unicorn in your backyard too. Does it wear a scalar watch as well?

> i know that you will probably
> just put this out there and bash the hell out of me,
> but if you do, i have the satisfaction of knowing that
> i am right about you and the scalar watch.

I wasn’t going to bother posting it to my website, but it’s so damned funny and I hate to disappoint your preconceptions about me so perhaps I will after all. Should be good for a laugh.

> P.S. you
> need to go straight to a website that will inform you
> on all you need to know about physics,after you read
> that, if you still dont believe,then i will only have
> been proven more right than you know,have fun!
 
And which website would that be then? I see you once again haven’t bothered to so much as name it, let alone provide a link to it. While you’re working on that degree in mathematics and physics you may want to consider taking a couple of courses in English and Logic as this email you sent was just fucking pathetic on both counts.

Nice talking with you.

Les

So some time passes and I eventually get the following two replies in short order:

like i said, u just prove me right with every jibe,
mr.bullshit

And….

135, wow impressive,so thats how you read the e-mail
lol,anyway thanx for the reply, at least i know you
read it

To which I replied with the following in a single response:

    Whatever makes you happy. I’ll note for the record, however, that you decided to cop out instead of providing any of the requested info or references. Which just validates my initial thoughts about you as well. So I suppose neither one of us is disappointed or surprised.

    Yep, I read it. I had little else better to do with my time and it was amusing enough in its own right. Studying theoretical mathematics, right, I believe that about as much as I believe that stupid watch works.

    Les

Time passes and he speaks once again…

blah,blah,blah,i gave you all you need to know,the way
i see it,you copped out by not bothering to try and
understand it,so like i said,every time u reply,i
forward the e-mail to other peers and we have a good
laugh,so i wouldmt bother to even try it, you are
after all alot of talk, have a nice day.

To which I offered the following:

    You didn’t give me jack shit. You claimed NASA had done all sorts of studies that proved it worked. You claimed it was clinically proven. You made a lot of claims without providing anything to back them up. Claims I can get from anyone. If you have proof then reveal it. If you don’t then you’ll just continue to respond in this same grammatically challenged manner. Put up or shut up. Anything else is just you wasting more hot air.

    What’s to understand? You didn’t offer up any details on how it was supposed to work. You did spew out a lot of pseudo-scientific gobbledy-gook such as the “Earth’s harmonic resonance field” and “kirlian photos,” but nothing in the way of a scientific explanation on how this supposed scalar technology actually works let alone any studies that seem to indicate it has any basis in reality.

    Like I said before, that’s hardly surprising.

    Forward away. It’s not like it bothers me to have people dumb enough to think there’s anything behind the Teslar Watch laughing at me. They say that ignorance is bliss, you guys must be one happy bunch.

    Les

Finally this evening I got the following:

man,give it up, you sound more lame with every
e-mail,you sre starting to sound like your grasping at
straws,oh,by the way,your address has been blocked,in
fact anyone who is not in my address book can no
longer send me e-mails,your desperate attempts to make
yourself feel intelligent were beginning to crowd my
mailbox,it will still say that i am receiving them but
they will be filtered out by my server,so tah tah,have
fun…inch

I couldn’t resist a parting shot so I replied back with:

    Now why is this not surprising? When confronted with a challenge to prove your bullshit you run like a scared puppy. Fucking sad.

    Les

It didn’t bounce so I’m assuming he got it, not that it actually matters either way. This fellow is a perfect example of the “loyal parrot” syndrome that seems commonplace among the true believers. They show up, spew out the same nonsense you could read for yourself in the Craptastic Product’s sales brochure, make big claims of being authorities on subjects that you couldn’t possibly ever hope to understand, and then run for the hills the moment you ask them to back up their bullshit with some hard facts all the while sputtering about how asking them to prove their shit don’t stink just shows how right they are.

It’s hard to judge whether these people actually believe this crap or are just the ones actually trying to sell it so they want you to think they really believe this crap. I’m sure there’s a little of both that show up from time to time. Fun reading, eh?

101 thoughts on “Conversations with a dumbass.

  1. Wow, what an idiot… I’ll bet he believes that Flight 19 is still flying around lost somewhere… maybe in earth’s harmonic resonance field.

    Great read mate!

    -Sonny

  2. Say, Les, I’ve got this alien butt-probe prevention device, the Scamalotopeeple(TM), and I absolutely guarantee that as long as you have this thing strapped across your nether regions that you will not, absolutely NOT, get probed in the ass by aliens.

    For only 2 grand, you gotta admit, it’s a DEAL!

    [Please note, the Scamalotapeeple(TM) guarantees to prevent alien anal probage—no guarantees are made in regards to non-alien anal probage, or alien probage in other orifices.)

    Ah, I can always count on SEB to brighten my day!

  3. Thanks for the good laugh, Les.
    Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large, stupid groups. And beware when one of them strays from the herd, as this guy seems to have done.

  4. Les mate . Nicely done mate. This dumbass is obviously one of the gullible drones out there OR one of the people behind these scams. Either way I hope his asrsehole heals over .

    Good luck to you mate and thanks for csharing this story .
    Will , UK

  5. You know, it’s for this exact kind of post that this is the only blog belonging to a person I don’t know that I read on a regular basis.

    Out of curiosity, how many of these parrot emails do you get in a day? :D

  6. Les, I’m with you and your quest to get that clown to back up his BS, but he’s not from our world. He’s from the world of credit-cards maxxed out, nights spent drinking and bragging about how much money he hauls in from spam, girlfriends with cold sores on their lips, small japanese cars with woofers that cost more than the rent (which is why he lives at home). He’s got no clue, his parents never loved him, and he’s not really in school, since he only managed a 330 on his SATs. Now these might be far-fetched assumptions on my part, but when it comes to people who are so willing to slam others while attempting to purvey their own BS, it’s usually true that something besides intelligence has been severely lacking in their lives.

    But then what do I know? I open every spam I get, buy every product, and enjoy the benefits of having my willie extended by three inches as I lose weight and make her smile. And my drugs are all available without an Rx. But of course I wouldnt have known that if I hadnt had on my special watch. After all, I am the public that these bullshit artists actually believe exists. I wouldnt have thought that if it were not for the 40 spam emails I get per day.

    Ok, time to go buy some anti-spam software from a spammer.

    Eric S

  7. This idiot sounds like he had a spare few minutes at the library(after pawing through the Women’s magazines looking for underwear ads)and got out a physics text book and jotted down random words from the index.
    Resonance is a real event in electronics, but this kid understands jack-shit about science.
    If he is really a student, any lecturer or tutor who read one of his reports would die laughing.

  8. Sonny, I’d forgotten all about the story of Flight 19. Wow, that brings back memories.

    Nowiser, I hope your Scamalotopeeple(TM) device doesn’t violate any of my (pending) patents on my Anti-Alien Anal Probe Ass Shield[tm]. I’d hate to have to file a lengthy and expensive lawsuit to protect my scam product from your imitation scam product!

    Greg, the power of stupid people is truly stupefying at times. Sorry, bad pun.

    Will, I think your solution would lead to some rather messy cleanups in the long run. Besides, he’s already full of shit. A better solution would be a lifetime spent on an island surrounded by all the useless craptastic products he ever tried to push off on anyone else and nothing else.

    Sam, it’s a semi-regular thing. I’ll go awhile without hearing much of anything other than perhaps a one-shot note from an angry fan and then I’ll get someone like Preston here who actually responds more than once. The watch thread has responses from a number of people, many of whom use several correctly spelled words, who have shown up to try and defend the product. The John Edward entries get the same kind of attention from time to time.

    Eric, those spams trying to sell me anti-spam software are the best examples of irony one could ever have land in his inbox uninvited.

  9. Well, I suspect there are a number of folks “majoring in theoretical mathematics and physics” who can’t write an English sentence worth a damn, so I can’t critique him on that basis.

    On the other hand, he sounds like a loon.  Well played.

    My only question is, if this is such fabulously advenced technology and science, based on wildly esoteric and sophisticated theories, why is it the only application seems to be these craptacular and inexpensive watches?

  10. One would think that any serious student of theoretical mathematics and physics would be required to write some hefty essays, but I suppose the professors could be allowing their standards to slip.

    There are other “products” out there that make the same claims based on the same pseudo-science, but these watches are certainly the best looking of all these gadgets. One site I found these watches for sale on had prices ranging from $99 for a basic lady’s style to $399 for one of the men’s styles. Admittedly, I have a hard time paying more than $25 for a standard watch that doesn’t do anything but tell the damned time so a $99 watch had better live up to its claims if they expect me to buy one.

    Another example of other a similar craptastic product you can waste your money on is the QLink Pendant with Sympathetic Resonance Technology for $199. The sales pitch says the following:

    “QLink picks up your own frequencies and harmonizes them with the earth’s natural frequency, then amplifies them with electronic components to create a protective shield against environmental pollution. In this way the body’s energy field is combined with and reinforced by the earth’s harmonic resonance field helping one cope with energy overload.

    QLink protects 4 feet in front and 7 feet behind when it is worn around the neck. It acts very much like a filter, reducing the harmful frequencies when they come within the protective radius of your body. Many people feel this difference right away and report a greater sense of well being. Common testimonials from clients: 1. Less fatigue, more energy, no longer depressed, no more food cravings. 2. Reports of clients wearing metals and walking through airport metal detection machines and not being detected!”

    Wearing a QLink allows you to carry metal objects through a metal detector and not be detected? I’m sure there’s a lot of terrorists out there that would love to get their hands on that technology!

  11. Wait a minute! I didnt get the spam on that one yet. Les, that’s a must-have!

    It’ll lift my mood and energy?
    I wont have the munchies anymore?
    And, I can go over to LaGuardia and get through Security with a stun-gun and a …
    Wait a second! Maybe that lady that got through with the stungun was wearing a QLink.

    The blurb on that thing is so convincing.

    Les, there is truly no limit to how far people will go to fleece the public. Selling the public on the idea of WMDs, or QLinks, same difference. If the BS that arrives in your inbox is SPAM, then what shall we call the BS the government is putting out there? How about TANG? I can think of a few ways to use it as an acronym.

    Eric

  12. Also reminds me of one incident several years ago when I was a kid.  A
    vaccuum cleaner salesman came over to demonstrate a new vaccuum cleaner
    and convince my family that it was better than our current machine.  My
    father was challenging him on every one of his claims, and at one point,
    the salesman said “the filter in this vaccuum cleaner never needs to be
    cleaned or changed!”.  My father just looked back at him and said “well
    then, either the vaccuum cleaner isn’t sucking up any dirt, or the dirt is
    just blowing right through it and out the exit air vents again.”

    The salesman just stood there, with the most priceless “oh, I guess this
    guy is kinda smart after all” expression.

    Needless to say, we didn’t buy his vaccuum cleaner.  But we had a good
    laugh while we wasted about an hour of his time.

  13. Say, is there ANY serious research that indicates that geomagnetic energy fields affect humans in measurable ways?

    I mean dowsing and such COULD have a realistic explanation. And electric fields in the atmosphere have been shown to have a strong statistical correlation with (for example) a serious increase in traffic accidents (studies made in southern germany).

    So does anybody know anything about that?

    Ingolfson

  14. There have been many experiments and studies that do show physiological reactions in humans when in the presence of really strong magnetic fields, but nothing that indicates these effects are damaging or lasting and these were artificially generated fields.

    Consider the MRI technology commonly used for diagnosing various medical problems in many hospitals. One of the strongest scanners is the Philips 3T MRI that has a magnetic field strength of 3.0 Tesla which translates to roughly 60,000 times stronger than the magnetic field of the earth. Millions of patients have had MRIs done on this device and millions more on the lower powered 1.5 Tesla MRIs to no ill-effect. The University of Pittsburgh Medical Center has the following info on the effects of static magnetic fields on humans:

    It is clear that numerous structures within humans are known to be affected by static magnetic fields including, among others, the retina, pineal gland, and some cells in the paranasal sinuses.  Affected, however, is not the same as harmful, or teratogenic/carcinogenic.

    It has been repeatedly demonstrated that (especially sickled) red blood cells will alter their shape and alignment relative to an external magnetic field.  Nevertheless, the magnitude of this response is so small that it is probably not of clinical significance in humans.

    The photoreceptor cells of the eye known are known to align in the presence of magnetic fields of the strength used in clinical MR imaging systems.  This, too, does not seem to result in any detectable clinical effects.

    Magnetophosphenes (visual stimuli) have also been reported from motion of the globe/retina in the presence of a sufficiently strong static magnetic field.  Once again, however, this is not necessarily a harmful outcome, simply a detectable one.  Vertigo, dizziness, headache, and a metallic taste in the mouth have also been reported by researchers working in higher (4+ Tesla) static magnetic field environments.

    A well-recognized effect (albeit not directly biologic in nature) is the alteration in the electrocardiographic tracing that can accompany placing a human in the presence of a sufficiently strong static magnetic field, such as those used in clinical MR imagers.  This so called flow potential results from bulk motion of an electrical conductor (i.e., blood) as it flows in and through a static magnetic field.  While the current densities so produced are clinically insignificant, they are detectable by ECG tracings, and should not be misinterpreted as patient distress.

    A safe summary might be that although no deleterious biologic effects from the static magnetic fields used in MRI have been definitively associated with magnetic resonance imaging

  15. As I began to read the e-mail that Preston wrote, I wondered if he had ever heard of the Cognitive Dissonance Theory. For those that don’t know, a short blurb explaing this. The Cognitive Dissonance. The theory that states that we act to reduce the discomfort (dissonance) we feel when two of our thoughts (cognitions) are inconsistant-as when we respond to our having acted contary to our attitudes by changing our attitude (Myers Psychology, Fourth Edition). For a superb example, just type Festinger into any search engine and you will get numerous results. Though, I must admit, this case works rather well too. Let have some fun with this. “…i will admit that i felt the same way…at first. the doctor that i work for asked me to help her understand the finer points of how the watch worked, i am majoring in theoretical mathematics and physics, so i translated, at first i thought it was bullshit, until i read on,and on, and on. no offense, but there is no way the layman could possibly understand the vast theories on scalar quantities, anyway even after reading all the equations and crunching all the numbers, i was more convinced…”
    Preston here, has already shown a great investment of his time AND and the changing of his beliefs. Because he at first belived that it was “bullshit” and wasted a great deal of his time reading about the “the vast theories on scalar quantities” and “crunching the numbers” he, according the the aforementioned theory, was simply justifying his actions by changing his attitudes. So, in other words, he changed what he originally thought to be “bullshit” into an accepted, and equally justifiable, scientific concept. After he changed his thoughts on the concept, he could justify spending all of that time on reading and computing the information. It went from being a complete waste of his time, hours that he will never regain, to an interesting research project that had just magically fallen into his lap. The fact that he defends this so strongly makes me believe more and more that he has fallen victim, if you will, to this theory. Sucker. The fact that a 17 year old high school student can sound more articulate, and actually employ the use of correct grammer and punctuation while basically using a vast amount of large word to call him, in essence, an idiot really makes me wonder. How the fuck did he manage to graduate high school? Was he banging the teachers, or did daddy pay for him to pass? I’m assuming with a name like Preston that he wasn’t exactly raised in suburbia. Just goes to show that if you have money, you too can pay for a Rent-A-Friends that help boost your self confidence to great heights. So much so that you actually begin to believe that you’re “really, really smart”. I hope you get back all that money that you paid them when you sue them. As for all the other Craptastic Products, ever hear of self-fufilling prophecys? I think they might apply in these cases.

    ~Sandi

  16. I hadn’t considered the possibility of Preston suffering from Cognitive Dissonance, though now that you mention it that does make some sense.

    I just thought he was a loon.

  17. Hi Les!

    Well, I didn’t really expect any studies - as you say, the geomagnetic field is a thing life is pretty much used to.

    Then again, I read that some birds (especially migratory ones) use subtle changes in those fields to navigate. Maybe the north deviation (the degree to which ‘real’ north is different from magnetic north, the degree of which changes depending wherever you are) has a role in this.

    I could imagine that underground streams, especially if moving swiftly, could change the electric fields of the area, but not knowing that much of physics (unlike Preston…) I’m on shaky ground there.

    As for the study I mentioned, it was in a science magazine here in Germany. Popular science, but respectable. If you are interested (I confess I’m too busy right now to bother), you might research ‘foehn’ or ‘f

  18. Hi Guys,

    Coincidently, Nikola Tesla apparently worked out that the earth does have a natural resonant frequency of around 10Hz, and the ionosphere and the ground basically form a capacitor.  In this way he was able to detect lightning stikes at regualar wavelengths away from their origin.

    I got that from a book called “The Man Who Invented the 20th Century” about his life.

    However I don’t believe it likely that Tesla’s secrets of the universe are being sold on the shopping channel at 2am either.

    I used to listen to Anthony Robbins until I heard his “latest discovery” of the enrgy content of foods.  Get this:  A Big Mac has only 5MHz of energy, whilst vegetables have 90MHz of energy.  The drink that he wants to sell you has a - wait for it - a whole 170MHz of energy. 

    He also apparently endorses the QLink at his seminars.  I am still checking to confirm that.

    I am an electronics technician, so this really woke me up.  Measuring energy in MHz? 

    O..kay … Tony … whatever you say …

    So why is a higher frequency better again?

    Oh get this:  Even though a big mac has lettuce, tomato and other healthy stuff in it, it’s only 5Mz because it “processed.”  Whenever you “disturb” the food product it “loses energy.”

    Disturb it?  What?  Cut the tomato into slices? Wouldn’t you “disturb” it if you bit into a freshly picked tomato and chewed it up and swallowed it?

    I spent a few months wondering why he was telling me to go buy wheat grass POWDER, (which I am sure has been processed), in that case.

    Last week I got my answer.  I downloaded an interview he did with Dr. Young, the guy who put him onto this stuff.  Dr. Young says that the powder is “re-energized” after processing.

    Well Doc why don’t you just sell me a machine to re-energize my Bic Macs up to a couple of hundred MHz.  Hell why don’t I just stick a USB cable into it, so I can eat whatever the hell I want if that’s all there is to it?

    He also takes the time to say that other people who sell wheatgrass products actually use a squeezing process that takes the energy out of their products - The lousy bastards!  Trying to sell me de-energized wheatgrass!  Good thing I got Tony watching my back!

    Anyway, I would like to take this opportunity to advertise my own craptastic product, (I love that word - never heard it before - It sounds like what it is). 

    It’s called a Brain(TM).  The Brain(TM)(Patent pending) is a device that when operated correctly prevents the user from buying ridiclously bullshit products would be obvious to a child.  The Brain(TM) comes with both left and right hemespheres, and an optional pituitary glad adaptor expansion socket, 1 metre of spinal cord, and as an extra bonus if you call within the next 5 minutes, our patented “sixth-sense” bullshit detector that can tell you when a sales-pitch just doesn’t feel right.

    Use your credit card, and we’ll throw in a cerebral cortex that has logical arguing techniques downloaded into right from the factory.

    Anyway if you are interested in this tony robbins fiasco check this out:

    http://www.advweb.com/michael/tony_robbins/get_the_edge_review.shtml

    I found it on google by writing “robbins megahertz bullshit”

    I found your site with “QLink bullshit” btw

  19. Thanks Wellsy, that was great reading. You should have registered as a user and then submitted it as a guest post. I would have loved to have made that into an entry of it’s own. It’s a great example of applying just a little critical thinking to avoid stepping into bullshit.

    So why is a higher frequency better again?

    Why because bigger numbers mean more energy? Don’t they?? I’ve always wondered if this sort of thinking is an unintended consequence of the PC companies advertising their PCs based solely on their speed ratings of their processors.

    Oh get this:  Even though a big mac has lettuce, tomato and other healthy stuff in it, it’s only 5Mz because it “processed.

  20. Great post, Wellsy!  Welcome to the jungle

    Les, I didn’t like fresh tomatoes either, until I got pregnant the first time.  Go figure.  Not that I’d recommend it to you, though.

  21. I haven’t tried these googles yet. Would be curious to see results:
    GOOGLE: GAYDAR
    GOOGLE: Cybiko Russian programmers
    GOOGLE: Furbee Infrared China NSA
    GOOGLE: RFID Wal-Mart

    Imagine if you wear this obvious and admitted transmitter unit you are RF branding yourself as a “mark” or “sucker” for all of con-artists who have evolved to high-technology. It also brands you as naive or gullible mentality for government or university researchers trolling for wierd-science guinea-pigs with their theorectical handheld Qlink detectors. Just a theory. Take it for what its worth. All you need is a RFID like SKU number scenario and a QLINK internet database and you have a full blown BIG BROTHER mobile privacy exploit system complete with tacit opt-in!

    Imagine that you go to one of Anthony’s seminars. He seems to gravitate to you. He seems to know stuff about you. You wonder if its because your wearing your Qlink pendant. You say Nahhh! and sign a check for a coupla’ hundred to him for some dumbass sucker tapes or other crap.

    This is a serious con.

    BTW - Don’t think this will get you through the airport metal detectors with metal on you. This gadget would set off detectors which would make you a “stop and further scrutinize” candidate. Maybe even a full body cavity search like they do at the Baltimore airport.

    Spooky

  22. There seems to be some credibilty to the “science” behind QLINK but they don’t really understand it. Read this Dr’s work: http://frontpage.simnet.is/vgv/umcyrilsmith.htm

    They are just trying to exploit wishful thinking and make money of of it. I still think my GAYDAR RF device analogy called CONDAR still has merit even if nobody has thought of it yet. Oops… I may have opened Pandora’s box again

    Spooky

  23. Spooky, I wouldn’t qualify that link as providing any credibility to the claims made by the QLINK folks. It doesn’t take too much reading before they start talking about Homeopathic remedies, which are as much bullshit as the Q-Ray itself. From there it just degenerates into some pretty standard pseudo-science gobblydegook. Nothing new or supportive to be found there.

  24. OK Clarus is selling a $329 unit called the QLink Ally. Holy cow! If my crazy CONDAR (con artist sucker radar) scenario is correct this could be the detector unit! The marketing blurbs around it could just be subterfuge. They tell their CONDAR clients this is a “wink wink” higher powered model of the SRT2 unit “wink wink”. If that’s true why is it over $300 bucks which no senior citizen mark would ever pay and why does it have a LED in the front of it (looks goofy for 3 bills!!!)? It looks like a homing device to me.

    [link removed]

    And what is this [link removed] Q/Link Resources? Some might say its only a executive recruiting web site in Seattle with a password in Seattle run by Andy Krasnow. Hmmm… I wonder… Nay Its probably just a coincidence…

    Spooky

    PS - Now I am really confused… When reading this Consumer Health Review whitepaper about how the QLINK was exhaustively tested by credible research scientists and doctors with double-blind tests it got pretty good passing grades. Go figure: [link removed]

    I’m conflicted now…

  25. Sorry last link truncated. Just GOOGLE: “QLink Ally containing the Sympathetic Resonance Technology” with the quote marks and you’ll find it. No gobblydegook to be found in the document. Its really egg head stuff with real science terms.

    I would agree that the QLINK and QRAY folks use gobblydegook science terms that they really don’t understand. But I’m now thinking that they are exploiting REAL science.

    In my research efforts I discovered the REAL science behind Q-RAY bracelet that they never used in their blurbs. It is a bi-metal voltage generator which touches a Chinese Accupuncture Chi point in your wrist that controls nausea. They found a way to exploit that method and market the heck out of it. They charge too much for this technology. It should be like $9.95 or something as they are just using ancient Chinese accupressure techniques which are free if you know how to duplicate it.

    I suspect, forgetting my CONDAR scenario, that this is more of the same. Reading this study one sees that EMF does cause stress but how QLink found a way to mitigate it totally baffles me. There appears to be REAL SRT technology available to your doctor through some medical equipment outlet that has nothing to do with QLink. It cost thosands of dollars. However, maybe a disgruntled employee stole the idea and modified it or we are dealing with more wierd-science seeding to the private-sector from Uncle Sam again (i.e. kevlar, ic chips, solid-state lasers, fiber optics, etc.)

    Spooky

  26. I apoligize if I seem to be flip-flopping worse than a Bush/Kerry debate but I went to the parent web site of the Consumer Health Reviews:
    [link removed] and again I am conflicted. Notice the subtitle: White Papers (Manufacturer Information and Fact Sheets) Clarus QLink. Sounds like Clarus supplied them with this link.

    Another enigmatic point: Notice the logo for Consumer Health Reviews and Qlink.com’s logo. I know I sound a little conspiracy theory-esk but that’s a strange conincidence.

    WHY I APPEARED HERE: I too was surfing the net as my senior-citizen mother sprung one of this $129 units on me. I see Tiger Woods wears one as does many celebs. This is the ONLY negative web site on QLINK. And I am in the middle of extreme research and I’m late for work. I tend to obsess on stuff obviously…

    Spooky

  27. OK now I’m seriously late for work. I decided to snoop some more. And I was snooping around [link removed] for awhile. It looks like the acyronym ZPE they keep throwing around, as if we are supposed to know what that is, turns out to be what Nikola Tesla was fooling around with during the turn of the 20th century. Now a famous JANES.com weapons defense web site journalist (Nick Cook) is trying to research the true roots of ZPE in his book of the same name “The hunt for Zero Point Energy”. I knew there was something fishy about all of this!

    I have been studying Tesla lately. I bought a great book about him written by Maragert Cheney. It appears that some of his more controversial and amazing works were secreted away by the Russians and the US Govt. ZPE is the “next big thing” technology looking for a way to be revealed without tripping too many “hey what’s up here” alarms by the masses. Much like the private sector seeding work of the pentagon’s Phillip Corso (et al) in the 1950’s and 60’s (i.e. from NAZI wonder-weapon research). 

    You see Ms. Cheney has revealed in her book that Nikola, as a teenager, would get vivid lucid waking “visions” of his famous inventions for no apparent reason. Einstien also mentioned that he heard inspirational “voices” as a teenager which lead him to his famous theory. This is indicative of “externally-induced” technology from an enigmatic heretofore obscured or unknown source. What that means is anybody’s guess depending on your belief-systems. I’ll leave that to your imaginations.

    So if Robert Williams (Clarus - President), the inventor of this QLink thingy, has had any exposure to ZPE while he was at Coherence Technologies, Inc. and Electro Tec/Intec Inc. during the 1980’s or was exposed to US government defense contracting (or the metaphysical)… well I think it is prety academic where this technology sourced from.

    Him and Bob Richards (Clarus - Marketing) are both members of “The International Association for New Science”. Patricia Williams (Clarus - unknown job function and relation to Robert Williams) was a US government contracter and certified gemologist qualifying her as a good-bet “link”.

    Pretty way out theories I’m offering but I am a obsessive Internet researcher who does not believe in conincidences - sometimes.

    Spooky

    PS - for a rational understanding of ZPE without all of the metaphysical mumbo-jumbo go this University of Denver web site to learn of the Casimir Force (or ZPE): [link removed]

  28. I’ve removed the links you provided because I’m not sure at this point if you’re engaged in a clever form of comment spam in an attempt to raise the page rank of these scammers. Perhaps I’m being overly suspicious, but I’d rather not contribute to any more page rank than I already have to perpetuating this nonsense.

  29. “If you suppress the truth it becomes your enemy… if you expose the truth it becomes your weapon.” - (late) Lt Col Phillip J. Corso.

    Although I don’t personally believe in the “fringe lunatic” theories that is very connected with this deceased man work, I have to believe his “military-industrial complex private-sector seeding of wierd-science” assertions in his book. Couple that with Nick Cook’s work it tends to start to form a “forest” (i.e. big picture) amongst those pesky “trees” (i.e. minutia facts).

    GOOGLE: “Phillip Corso” pentagon
    GOOGLE: “Nick Cook” janes

    Spooky

  30. I undersatnd your suspicions Les. However, that Casimir link at U of Denver was really cool. I try to put “GOOGLE: subject matter” to allow people to do their own research. I truly never thought of “page counts”. Interesting concept. I assure you I am NOT with these people as I am an avid Internet “Conspiracy Theorist” (CT) who just got one of these things from his mom last night. I am sort of pissed that my mom MAY have been scammed out of $387 bucks and intrigued as to how I have peeled back the onion skins of this multi-layered corporation in such a short time period (and did not go to work yet!). I assure you and your forum friends you are on the leading edge of my CT brainstorming. I am just brain dumping on you guys… and I’m sorry if it makes me look “suspicious”. I’m just excited about this CT stuff and am happy to find a place willing to listen. However, I’ll go away if you like… :-(

    Spooky

  31. Don’t take it too personally. Blog operators tend to get spammed in their comments quite a bit which makes anyone who puts a lot of links in their comments suspect. You should feel free to continue to comment if you wish.

  32. Wellsey, great comment!  I really laughed and enjoyed it.  Les is right, I hope you will submit some posts so we can join you in fisking some inanity.

    But it might make sense to measure some kinds of energy in mhz - how else would Han Solo make the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs? 

  33. What does “fisking inanity” mean?

    This thing seems to work below audio freqs. Something to do with EEG DC signal influence. They claim that they somehow manipulate delta waves or something. So that would put it around 5-15 Hz. That’s sub-audible. There is a mini torroid coil and a VLSI chip in the middle. Don’t know what battery source is. Suspect is nickel lithium. Too expense to reverse engineer. $129 bucks!!!

    Spooky

  34. What does “fisking inanity” mean?

    Sorry, I guess that is a bit obscure. Fisking is a gleeful deconstruction of nonsense.  So named after Brit journalist Robert Fisk, though I believe he was the fiskee rather than the fisker.

  35. I am one of the gullible few who has just bought one of these Q Link things - it arrived this morning, and within minutes of putting it on… I was expecting wonders, but actually have felt very sick and light headed. There is something in this energies/frequencies thing although I don’t understand it, but when i took it off I felt much better… then when I put it back on I felt really sick again. Think I will be a getting refund!

  36. Hello All,

    Well today marks my first visit to S.E.B.dotcom and I even registered.

    Just today I collected from my P.O. Box 2 Qlink SR2 pendants - one for me and one for my girlfriend. Now, we are not entirely stoopid, although we may indeed be accused of wishful thinking and possibly labeled gullible or fringe lunatics…but she is quite well educated, a Chiropractor and speaks three languages and I am self taught beyond high school and an electrician who has not been electrocuted so far.

    So here we are… two genuinely nice, intelligent human specimens leading productive and happy lives with a *Magic Eight Ball* dangling from our necks in order to ward off evil emanations from modern technological applications.

    What now?

    I indeed remain rather skeptical, yet in the off chance that my “bio field” will be stepped up and made able to withstand/repel unwanted and detrimental energies through hanging a coil, resonant chamber and micro circuit next to my heart - I’ll do it!

    Hey, a tin foil hat may work as well but what would people say?

    Peace!

  37. Hey, a tin foil hat may work as well but what would people say?

    They’d probably say the same thing that they’ll say when they see your Qlink SR2 pendants.

    Incidentally, seeing as how you’re keen on buying questionable products to improve your health, I’m selling these amazing Anti-Alien Probe Ass Shields that are guaranteed to keep unwanted alien probes out of your ass. Interested?

  38. Qlink SRT2? They already got QLink SRT3 (Scam Riddled Technology 3)

    The engineers are knocking them out. You gotta try it. All the bright eyed beavers at somethingawful.com sport one to shield against long haired girls who crawl out of their TV sets at night.

    But wait, if you got astral entities plaguing you, why not try this: http://www.magickmachines.com/harmonizer.htm Yesiree! A sacred space harmonizer, built to purify those tachyons zinging around your home. At just $150, you got enough chump change left to buy a $9 ionizer.

    Ready for the kicker?

    http://www.magickmachines.com/xcalibur.htm

    In their exact words:

    The Scalar Xcalibur is a compact yet powerful psychotronic instrument that is simple enough for beginners to use, yet has advanced features that will please veteran practitioners. Orgone, shape power, scalar electromagnetics, photonic, sound and primary energy technologies are merged into a synergistic whole to provide a whole new dimension to metaphysical activities such as manifestation, creative visualization, thoughtform building, remote viewing, astral traveling, ceremonial magick, energizing the subtle bodies, and countering psychic attacks, among others.

    The Scalar Xcalibur boasts of a unique orgone energy-generating matrix combining silver, copper, iron, titanium and zinc powders, quartz powder, activated carbon, pascalite, beeswax, tree resin powder, amethyst, citrine, rose quartz, smoky quartz, herkimer diamonds, agate, bloodstone, emerald, garnet, topaz, ruby, aquamarine, tourmaline, turquoise, peridot, lapis lazuli, fluorite, kyanite, and hematite, all thoroughly mixed and suspended in organic resin to color the orgone with the widest possible range of life-affirming energies.

    How about that? a boatload of crystals! They can start their own Tiffany’s! What losers. They could sell that pile o rocks for $9999 as RINGS or braclets instead of $500 for a crappastic looking device

    And on we go with their ad…

    Toroidal mobius and electromagnetic coils, pulsed at the earth resonance frequency of 7.83Hz, are buried inside the orgone block and serve to stimulate the block into generating a steady stream of orgone to be used in the magickal operation. Photonic stimulation via blue and infrared light and primary energy generation via bucking magnets boosts the orgone energy generation even further. A built-in audio jack accepts signals from CD and mp3 players, frequency generators and computers running radionic software. The audio jack also allows for the unit to be connected in daisy-chain fashion to other radionic devices when using multiple platforms to perform a single operation.

    The Scalar Xcalibur utilizes a digital rate processor to assign a rate for the operation. The rate is obtained via a touch-sensitive brass plate that doubles as a witness well where pictures and other trend/target representations can be placed on top of it. The brass plate can also be used to put items on to be charged with orgone energy. A pyramid made of premium quality Czech glass crystal serves to focus the thoughtforms generated with the unit and projects these into the etheric planes for speedy manifestation of your desires. An attractive clear and sturdy polycarbonate case encloses the electronics and the orgone block. A power adapter, transfer disks, and an instruction guide are included with every unit.

    Now you can astral travel, heal the common cold, get hotbabes, contact demons and even make Kim Il Jong’s hair fall out with but a wish.

    Everyone at our fansite is so hot about it we bought TEN Excaliburs. Before they stock out, be sure to drop them a reservation!

    Got much cash to burn? Be sure to pair it up with these damn cool devices:

    http://www.braintuner.com/photon.htm
    - Your very own sound beam out of photons! Wow, how cool is that??

    http://www.braintuner.com/revitalizer.htm
    - This will get you feeling so hunkydory. Just plug in and billions of frequencies tickle your prostate and gonads!

    http://www.slimspurling.com/
    -Let us not forget- the famous Life-Light tools that cleared Denver skies of darkness for months!

    ScamFEST sale! Yeah!
    Ongoing at http://www.SomethingAwful.com

  39. It just boggles the mind how scam sites like http://www.magickmachines and http://www.slimspurling.com come up with outrageous claims that will obviously fail upon first test.

    All the magnets, crystals and 7.83Hz resonances in that snakeoil Scalar Xcalibur would never “manifest desires” remotely. You can bet your bottom dollar on that.

    You want something done? Then haul your ass and exert physical effort. Wanna make money? Then work hard like rest of us. Want to meet chicks? Then brush up you hair. And your conversations.

    Scam salesmen at sites like magickmachines.com prey on your laziness. They know you’re willing to pay premium so they sell you hopes and dreams.

    Too bad you wake up to a sad nightmare.

  40. Here’s yet another site for you to chew on:

    http://www.quantumbalancing.com

    Take a bite out of their Horus Wand and Quantum Star. It’s so powerful, it can cause your dead, wormy apple to reanimate with life! A worthy partner to magickmachines.com ‘s Scalar Xcalibur and slimspurling.com ‘s Life Light Tools

    Where’s that Reverse Alien Anal Probe? I gotta scan these doodads..

  41. OK I have to ask: Are you getting kickbacks from these sites by posting their URLs all over the place? You’ve been spreading them pretty think with only slight commentary on their contents. I’m beginning to wonder if this isn’t a clever spamming tactic.

  42. Are you getting kickbacks from these sites

    Hahaha , I think this guy is on the level. No site would pay this deranged fellow to market them. If i were ‘Braintuner’ I’d demand my money back.

    By the way, while Teslar watches are a scam, I did buy one two years ago just because they sure were purty. Fer sure, they don’t work the way they do, but the chicks dig the looks. They say “Philip Stein?? Isn’t that way up there among the Frank Mueller?”

    They noticed my watch more than they did my Corvette

  43. I had to ask if only because I’ve had some folks try to pull crap like that here before.

    As for buying a watch to impress the girls, the last time I did something to impress a woman it involved getting a “cool” hairstyle and it was enough of a disaster to convince me impressing the girls wasn’t worth the expense and effort.

  44. I had to ask if only because I’ve had some folks try to pull crap like that here before.

    Ah, I know what you refer to. You’re talking about URL injection so low rank sites get the PR of the higher rank sites?

    That stuff doesn’t work if you use the NoFollow.

    In my site - it’s Google PR 6 - I make sure the NoFollow tags are encoded into the html so that if spammers dare inject ads for diazepam or casinos, google doesn’t follow the links and passes on my PR to them.

    Did you ever try SpeedSeduction with the girls? There was this oily seduction guru circa 2000, he invented SS. Ross J. was the name. When I enrolled in his crappy course I only ended up tripping myself up so much. It was the worst $1000 I ever spent!

    Should list him as an Oil Man too.

  45. Les: As for buying a watch to impress the girls, the last time I did something to impress a woman it involved getting a “cool” hairstyle and it was enough of a disaster to convince me impressing the girls wasn’t worth the expense and effort.

    You wouldn’t happen to have any photos of said disaster on hand, would you? 

  46. SA writes…
    Ah, I know what you refer to. You’re talking about URL injection so low rank sites get the PR of the higher rank sites?

    That stuff doesn’t work if you use the NoFollow.

    I’m less concerned with them getting page rank off of me (I have no idea what mine even is) as I am just having a bunch of spam cluttering up my comments. There’s a No Follow plugin for EE that I was using for awhile, but there’s some debate on how effective it is.

    Sadie asks…
    You wouldn’t happen to have any photos of said disaster on hand, would you?

    That was back when I was still a teenager in the mid-80’s and I don’t think we ever got a picture of it. I was so upset I ended up having it re-cut to something much more simple and easy to take care of. It was at that point that I tossed vanity to the wind and declared that if my hair ever became too much of a bother I’d just shave it off.

  47. if my hair ever became too much of a bother I’d just shave it off.

    Just in time for that to be fashionably cool.  Thank you, Patrick Stewart, Samuel L. Jackson, et al…

  48. I’m less concerned with them getting page rank off of me (I have no idea what mine even is) as I

    Stick in googletoolbar and you’ll see your pagerank Les. It’s a healthy PR 6. Basically that means the SEs love you to bits.

    I just checked out SomethingAwful’s site. Hot damn, that’s one hot site. A virtual universe of crackpots and critics just like us! And his PR is over the roof.

    It’s not flattering to be a target by those bozos.

    ever became too much of a bother I’d just shave it off.

    I think a bald gal is just plain sexxxxy!

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